My (Sleepy) Shadow

Friday, May 26th, 2017 11:37 pm
cathugger: An orange-and-white cat facing to the left. The front of this face is fading into shadows. (Default)
[personal profile] cathugger
I said I wanted more weird dream/sleep experiences. After all, they've been one of the few things I've been laughing at lately. I talked about one where I grabbed window shades to stop myself from falling, only to realize that, by then, I was awake and on my bed. Though there was a decent chance I could've broken the shades, all the laughing about it after was refreshing. So I sincerely wanted something like that to happen again.

Somehow, it took me a while to notice this, but often fall into a light sleep for short periods of time when comfortable enough. This is most noticeable when I'm texting someone, and a long line of random letters appears on my screen out of nowhere. It doesn't feel like I fell asleep at all. If anything, it feels like I zoned out for a second or two, but the number of letters that appeared on my screen pointed to it being much longer than that. 

I didn't think I was randomly falling asleep like this until after the sleep study. During the daytime tests, when I had to lie in bed for 10-15 minute segments while they read my brain waves, I didn't think I slept at all, but the people running the test kept walking in saying that I was asleep and in R.E.M. somehow. So I started paying attention to the random "zoning out" moments, and they're slowly starting to reveal some dream-like qualities. 

Anyway, this morning I started playing a game on my phone, and it didn't take long for me to start "zoning out." As I was slowly becoming more conscious, I noticed that my thumb was on the home button (which is also a fingerprint scanner, used for unlocking the phone and making payments and other important things) and assumed I was just unlocking my phone because it went into sleep mode or something. Then I realized that 1. I was still in the game, not on the lock screen, and 2. A MESSAGE JUST POPPED UP SAYING THAT I MADE A PAYMENT. ($25.00. It wasn't one of the cheaper options.) The game was full of ads for offers costing real money, yes, but my fingers managed to tap actual buttons and move my thumb to the home button at the right time. I couldn't tell if this was more impressive or scary. It was...shocking... for sure.

It's kind of like my unconscious side is learning how to do more and more on its own, and I'm going to have to kid proof (can't think of a better descriptor) things so I'm not cleaning up its messes later. (I guess I already kind of do this with emotional splitting, which doesn't seem that different from doing things in my sleep from this angle.) I'm also finding it way too interesting because brain-related stuff like this is right up my alley. And even though living with narcolepsy (though some people may have these experiences without it) can be H A R D, it's also comparable to living in multiple realities at once: hopping between them without much control, not knowing which reality a memory came from, having to piece together what actually happened, and, in a way, having more experiences that aren't linked chronologically... but through thought processes the brain has created a path between. Basically, it gives me something to figure out and is making me more familiar with how brains can work.

If this doesn't end up making sense, don't bother making sense of it. I can't really... "word" right now, and when I come up with a word, it feels off, and I'm unsure about using it. Basically, everything is a mess. I thought it'd be better to get something out now then forget this ever happened another day and not record it.

-Okay, you can stop explaining yourself now.

(no subject)

Friday, May 26th, 2017 07:26 pm
randomdreams: riding up mini slickrock (Default)
[personal profile] randomdreams
Due to stress I ache all over, particularly my back, in the vicinity of one of the discs I damaged in the big car crash, and the adjacent bit where ligaments attach to a vertebral process that got broken off the vertebra. It's my stress meter.
Usually I deal with this by stretching and bike riding.
So at lunch today I went cycling with my coworker.
I had TWO heart rate monitors on. Sometimes they fight, but today they appeared to work well together. (One is recording for the cardiologist, the other is recording for my geek love of instrumentation, so I can post my pulse histogram online.)
The sky was vaguely threatening as we were starting, and got crabbier as we rode. As we were about halfway down a long twisting dirt path, it started drizzling, and just as we got to an intersection where we'd been planning on going straight and doing a long climb, lightning struck quite near us, so we bailed and rode home. Shortly thereafter the clouds dabbled briefly in hail, but then gave up as we outpaced them. We returned covered in mud and glory, only not very much glory.

(no subject)

Friday, May 26th, 2017 09:35 pm
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[personal profile] neekabe
I'm attempting to start a Couch to 5K program. My work is doing the Global Challenge thing where you get a little pedometer and the goal is to get 10,000 steps a day, or at least up your activity. I've done it before, it's kind of fun.

But it did lead to the idea that C25K is a good plan. Right now I'm not thinking it's as good of an idea, but that's because I'm trying to work running workouts into Karate training days so that might not be the best idea? We'll see how well this goes. I've finished day 2!

Extending Kepler’s Mysterium Cosmographicum

Friday, May 26th, 2017 09:25 am
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[personal profile] gfish
I was reading Kepler's Epitome of Copernican Astronomy and The Harmonies of the World recently, and found myself quite fascinated with his Platonic solid model of the solar system. On a lark, I set about extending it to include Uranus and Neptune. It proved to be an interesting challenge, and one that really helped me connect with the mindset of the age better.

Of course, with all that done, I had to write up my results as a full academic paper: Extending Kepler’s Mysterium Cosmographicum

Interesting Links for 26-05-2017

Friday, May 26th, 2017 12:00 pm
andrewducker: (Default)
[personal profile] andrewducker

Interesting Links for 25-05-2017

Thursday, May 25th, 2017 12:00 pm
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[personal profile] andrewducker

When Dreams Come to Life

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 09:26 pm
cathugger: An orange-and-white cat facing to the left. The front of this face is fading into shadows. (Default)
[personal profile] cathugger
Things have been going downhill mood-wise. I think I need to get out of the house, but even outside the house feels so limited. And since I'm already outside the house, how much better can anything get? 

Anyway...

I woke up during an intense dream (what's new?) where I was being chased and started falling down the stairs, grabbing for window shades to catch myself or break the fall or something. (I agree, there could've been better things to grab onto.) So there I was, hanging on the shades. After a few seconds, I thought I'd look below me, especially since the shades could've broken any second, and... saw my bed. I wasn't even hanging; I was sitting on my bed and pulling at the shades. I quickly let go so I wouldn't break them (good thing I'm not strong or heavy) and... let myself process everything for a few minutes. I'm sure there was some giggling mixed in there, too. 

Well, remembering that helped my mood a little.

It can be really confusing to find the line between doing things in your sleep and hypnagogic hallucinations. Often, if I'm doing something that that specific and intricate (sitting up and grabbing onto something that was to the side of me because of specific events in a dream... even pulling at the shades), it means I'm further on the awake side. So the dream might've been halfway woken me up and continued in a hypnagogic hallucination. Was I sitting up and grabbing at the shades before I opened my eyes, so the dream was existing without vision to aid it, or did I open my eyes at some point and see the shades while the dream tried to fill in the details? (This probably makes no sense. Don't bother reading it again.)

I'm wayyy too interested in dreams, though I've never spent much time looking into them, unless we're counting the sleep phase sections of psychology classes and narcolepsy research. But I've read about weird occurrences like this with narcolepsy. Apparently it's much more common in people who have the disorder (and possibly other sleep disorders), though everyone can get them, and there isn't always a diagnosis behind it... at least based on what I've read so far.


Interesting Links for 24-05-2017

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 12:00 pm

Impressive Speech

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017 01:46 am
heron61: (Emphasis and strong feeling)
[personal profile] heron61
Even more than Shrub, 45 sounds like a blithering idiot when he speaks, so it's definitely enjoyable to listen to a well done, inspirational, and genuinely good speech, all of which accurately describes the speech New Orleans mayor Mitch Landrieu's gave for the long-overdue removal of that city's monuments to the Slaver's Rebellion

(no subject)

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017 09:07 pm
randomdreams: riding up mini slickrock (Default)
[personal profile] randomdreams
The hailstorm cut the top off one of the tomato seedlings, literally just sliced right through the stem. I stuck it in a glass of water along with a similarly abused tomatillo, and am watching new roots form along the stem.
20170521_125003
20170523_174314

Kind of creepy.

I was following this person down the road after work and suddenly noticed the bumpersticker, which I love.
20170519_180155

CS Lewis on living in an age of terror

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017 09:30 pm
andrewducker: (Default)
[personal profile] andrewducker
In one way we think a great deal too much of the atomic bomb. "How are we to live in an atomic age?" I am tempted to reply: "Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat any night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents."

In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation. Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were already sentenced to death before the atomic bomb was invented: and quite a high percentage of us were going to die in unpleasant ways. We had, indeed, one very great advantage over our ancestors - anaesthetics; but we have that still. It is perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces because the scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to a world which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself was not a chance at all, but a certainty.

This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things - praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts - not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.


Thanks to [personal profile] hollymath and [personal profile] white_hart for that.

(no subject)

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017 08:59 am
randomdreams: riding up mini slickrock (Default)
[personal profile] randomdreams
A lot of stuff has happened.
I remain wired up to a heart monitor, and its sympathetic magic is working perfectly: I have not had a single dizzy episode and only one possible missed heartbeat since I started wearing it.

[personal profile] threemeninaboat's car was declared officially totaled and irreparable because of water getting into the electronics and hybrid batteries. She feels that most or all modern cars are enormous unwieldy beached whales and was angry at everything so we went out and found her a ten year old Subaru STI, basically a road-legal racecar, and that, she's happy with.

My company, specifically my department, won a contract to develop an extremely complex custom chip for another company, that'll keep us very busy and very profitable for at least six years, so I'm less worried about my job vanishing for quite a while.

I've fallen behind on most of my fun projects because there's so much stuff that Just Has To Be Done. I'm going to work on the life/fun balance thing. But the hailstorm and following mid-May freeze meant some issues keeping the garden viable.

Yet Another Book

Monday, May 22nd, 2017 10:56 pm
jazzy_dave: (bookish)
[personal profile] jazzy_dave
Of course, whilst i was in Eastbourne the last shop i visited just had to be right next door to a Waterstones bookshop .I succumbed ,and having read one book on Thomas Cromwell from a historian who seemed to put all the blame on Thomas rather than the King (Henry VIII),this book is a more up to date revisionist account.





Interesting Links for 22-05-2017

Monday, May 22nd, 2017 12:00 pm

Book 32 - Robert Hutchinson "Thomas Cromwell"

Sunday, May 21st, 2017 10:25 pm
jazzy_dave: (Default)
[personal profile] jazzy_dave
Robert Hutchinson "Thomas Cromwell: The Rise and Fall of Henry VIII's Most Notorious Minister" (Orion)




This was an intriguing, easy to read account of the career of Thomas Cromwell, notorious chief minister to Henry VIII.

Robert Hutchinson sets out the main events of Cromwell's life and times without going into much detail. . Hutchinson brings to life the Tudor court in all its madness and corruption, illustrating how easy it was to fall foul of the king and meet a gruesome end. Some of it being very gruesome so i recommend reading without eating food in front of you.

This is really just a primer and he does write in an engaging style and hence this book would be a good starting point for anyone interested in Henry VIII's world or that of the Tudors in general.

Hello from a Foggy Brain

Sunday, May 21st, 2017 03:47 pm
cathugger: An orange-and-white cat facing to the left. The front of this face is fading into shadows. (Default)
[personal profile] cathugger
I don't have much to say about today other than the fact that I've been doing better than expected today. Maybe it's because of zoning out, but... I don't think it's that bad today. Of course, that makes me worry that I'm going to blow up later, which is likely. I don't know. This is weird.

Partner is still at the beach. I went on a walk--movement suggested for me to do after surgery--with my dad. It helped me realize that my legs are still wobbly, and I wasn't doing as well as I thought I was, but it was nice to move around for once. Now I'm still hooked up to the bone stimulator and just got the PICC line running. At least these things are a good excuse for not moving or trying to get much done around the house. 

Now I'm back to BDO and phone games, both of which require me to do nothing and just wait sometimes. Then I don't know what to do (orrr start writing this post).

Since I mentioned getting stuff done around the house, maybe I'll go more into that and at least stop avoiding thoughts about it. The whole house is a mess. Honestly, I think most of my family has given up on it. That includes me. I don't know the last time I had a clear head and motivation to work on something. Doing 5 minutes of work at a time worked at first... now I'm having a hard time doing that, or even looking in different directions. Now, fixing all of these messes sounds impossible.

Ridley Scott films I have seen

Sunday, May 21st, 2017 08:16 pm
andrewducker: (Default)
[personal profile] andrewducker
I was reading the poor reviews of Alien: Covenant and thinking about Ridley Scott. And then ended up watching The Martian with Jane, as she hadn't seen it, and was reminded how great he is at his best. So I figured I'd go through his filmography and mark them up for enjoyment factor.

Blade Runner: Gorgeous. And the plot works. And it has some great moments. And nothing which made me furious. But it's a bit too cold for me. I don't love it, but I am glad I've seen it.(About four times now, in an attempt to like it more.) 6/10
Alien: Amazing realisation of a fictional future. Fantastic design. Lots of iconic moments. Hangs together really well as a film, and I'm glad I saw it at the cinema a couple of years ago. 8/10
Legend: Very silly. Doesn't quite work. But Tim Curry is really, really good in it, and it looks beautiful, and I can forgive it its weaknesses. 6/10
(Thelma and Louise I feel bad for not having seen. Sorry!)
Gladiator: I didn't buy into the hype, and it felt overly glossy. Nicely made, and a better movie of its type than we'd seen in a while. 6/10
Hannibal: I really wanted to like this. But he managed to make a film about a charismatic serial killer dull. I literally wondered _during_ the film how he managed to make it so dull. 3/10
Matchstick Men: A fun romp that I solidly enjoyed at the time. The characters are having so much fun I couldn't help but join them. 8/10
Kingdom of Heaven: A Ridley Scott movie I enjoyed _more_ than most people. It felt like it had been hacked up though, and I wasn't surprised there was a directors cut. Which I will someday see! 7/10
Prometheus: A film I despised more because it could have been amazing than anything else. But sadly it fills me with rage. 2/10 (4/10 if you include the fun I had reading meta about it later.)
The Martian: An incredibly well made film that was dramatic, and gorgeous, and funny. I wish there were more films like this. Slightly _too_ many thing go wrong for me, but it's nigh perfect. 9/10

The Biometrics of Life

Saturday, May 20th, 2017 08:29 pm
heron61: (Heron - about me)
[personal profile] heron61
Having a health tracking band with a heart-rate monitor (a Garmin Vivosmart HR) has been interesting - while (as I mentioned previously), calculating deep vs. light sleep seems less than accurate (likely in general w/o EEG monitoring), I checked it's heart rate monitor when I went to the doctor, and it was within 1 BPM. Also, was I was specifically looking for (and why I got this device) was that it did continuous heart rate monitoring, and displayed both maximum and average resting heart rate for each day. I recently looked at it and noticed a rather impressive trend - my average resting heart rate is (presumably due to a combination of regularly light-moderate exercise and blessedly good genetics) 63-65, it does sometimes vary from that - specifically both when I visited my parents and immediately before my visit, when the average jumped up into the low 70s, which has never been true before, and clearly means that I was notably more stressed. I can tell when I visit my parents simply via my resting heart rate, which shouldn't be that surprising, but definitely is interesting.

Health Stats - Resting Heart Rate
(the days in red ones when I was with my parents)