How about them windows?

Lovely user answer to a question posted on Amazon about the "Twin Draft Guard Extreme Door Guard":

How about them windows?
asked by r.a. on January 1, 2014

Them windows, so distant, so hard to know. I remember once, way back, talking to them windows as they sat on the steps at the end of the day, smoking a cigarette and looking at nothing in particular. "Hey," I said, cautious but loud enough for them to here. "You look lonely." ...
hb answered on January 2, 2014
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The same person also left this product review on the same item:

If Hades had been guarded by Cerberus with the same vigor and vigilance with which the Extreme Door Guard guards my door, then Heracles would have been devoured like so much Purina puppy chow.

I'm not convinced it's an authentic/unpaid review, but it gave me a smile.

so that's what those things are called!

Meet the Camel Cricket aka "Spricket".

Most years we'll get occasional roaches in the house. But there were a few years where we kept getting those camel crickets instead.

I've also seen quite a few of them in the crawlspace under Forestfen's house. It's a definite shock when you're crawling* around the dim and cramped crawlspace with a flashlight, to come upon a bunch of them on the wall in front of you. But they're not as scary as other bugs; in the crawlspace they tend to stay still or only move very slowly.

*or rather as I do it, moving around while in a squat, to avoid getting dirt all over myself. If the space is so low that I'd have to wiggle on my belly to traverse it, I'm not likely to go that way. Even having to crawl on my knees in places tends to trigger sudden claustrophobia. But as long as I can keep a squatting position, I'm usually ok.