Oh, wow, so with this you've given me my next idea for dw_suggestions: the Dreamwidth Alert. Like a Google Alert. Only for Dreamwidth. Which will save me the pain of having to ever say to anyone again: "Oh wow, I'm so behind on my Dreamwidth reading that I only just saw this right now". I'm so tired of saying that to people and wondering if they even really believe me (or care). Set a Dreamwidth Alert for my own name and bam!, problem solved. And yes, it is a problem.
*ahem*
Anyway, the word "it" is a real dilemma for me in relation to animals...glad to see I'm not the only one who might feel awkward around it. Bad: I will sometimes slip into "it" even when discussing my own animals. Good: I hate myself for it and usually catch myself instantly and make a gendered correction on the spot. Bad: even the gendered correction (when gender is known, as it is with my own animals) still sometimes bothers me.
Thing is, I've been conditioned, along with the rest of society, to assign gender to literally anything breathing (as well as to wholly inanimate objects like ships, cars, bikes, computers, etc). But sometime in the last few years...I guess it started with my male cat. Men especially would compliment "her" for being so "beautiful" (my cognitive dissonance was unreal and I could stay upset for weeks each time this would happen - not so much for the misgendering and gendered compliments as for the fact that the gender even mattered, and that it had its own descriptors that differ from those used for the male subset).
In the ensuing years I've come to think he's "beautiful" more than I think he's "handsome". I actually prefer the former term over the latter. While I see stereotypically masculine features that happen to fit the socially acceptable definition of "handsomeness" in him, and while I've been trained by upbringing and society to celebrate his good looks solely through the lens of which gender they supposedly reflect, those features are not what makes him uniquely nice to look at as a cat. So when you say about the horse probably not being any "prettier" for being a female horse, I think I know what you mean.
Getting back to "it", the use of the word on animals is very impersonal and sometimes deliberately depersonalizing. When I think of "it" used in relation to animals, I think of animal haters saying something like: "Get it [or, alternatively, that] off my property before I shoot it. I hate them things." I've heard cats, dogs, squirrels, deer, opossum, etc. spoken of like that and it chills my blood, so personally I've come to equate the use of it/that with something akin to true disrespect for and even outright hatred of (at least some) animals.
Coming up with an easy to understand and more respectful alternative than the depersonalizing at worst/bland and generic at best "it" and educating people enough to know to use the word out of respect - and kindness - might go a long way to lessen the danger of animals being thought of as easily disposable commodities or easily rid-of nuisances.
In general, "they" has always felt a little weird to me. If I get to the pick the neutral gender term (say, while writing a post for my DW) I will take "they" every time over ze/zie/zir simply because it's less linguistically awkward and foreign-sounding to me. But it's also a grammar buster (at least, according to exactly how I was taught) but it's a grammar buster I've always engaged in verbally simply to keep my descriptions shorter and more efficient (my speech tends to take every shortcut I can take to save time and therefore can be almost over-condensed), so switching "they" over to my writing is not much of a stretch, even if it does make me feel guilty every time I use it - because I feel like I'm breaking a rule of some sort.
no subject
*ahem*
Anyway, the word "it" is a real dilemma for me in relation to animals...glad to see I'm not the only one who might feel awkward around it. Bad: I will sometimes slip into "it" even when discussing my own animals. Good: I hate myself for it and usually catch myself instantly and make a gendered correction on the spot. Bad: even the gendered correction (when gender is known, as it is with my own animals) still sometimes bothers me.
Thing is, I've been conditioned, along with the rest of society, to assign gender to literally anything breathing (as well as to wholly inanimate objects like ships, cars, bikes, computers, etc). But sometime in the last few years...I guess it started with my male cat. Men especially would compliment "her" for being so "beautiful" (my cognitive dissonance was unreal and I could stay upset for weeks each time this would happen - not so much for the misgendering and gendered compliments as for the fact that the gender even mattered, and that it had its own descriptors that differ from those used for the male subset).
In the ensuing years I've come to think he's "beautiful" more than I think he's "handsome". I actually prefer the former term over the latter. While I see stereotypically masculine features that happen to fit the socially acceptable definition of "handsomeness" in him, and while I've been trained by upbringing and society to celebrate his good looks solely through the lens of which gender they supposedly reflect, those features are not what makes him uniquely nice to look at as a cat. So when you say about the horse probably not being any "prettier" for being a female horse, I think I know what you mean.
Getting back to "it", the use of the word on animals is very impersonal and sometimes deliberately depersonalizing. When I think of "it" used in relation to animals, I think of animal haters saying something like: "Get it [or, alternatively, that] off my property before I shoot it. I hate them things." I've heard cats, dogs, squirrels, deer, opossum, etc. spoken of like that and it chills my blood, so personally I've come to equate the use of it/that with something akin to true disrespect for and even outright hatred of (at least some) animals.
Coming up with an easy to understand and more respectful alternative than the depersonalizing at worst/bland and generic at best "it" and educating people enough to know to use the word out of respect - and kindness - might go a long way to lessen the danger of animals being thought of as easily disposable commodities or easily rid-of nuisances.
In general, "they" has always felt a little weird to me. If I get to the pick the neutral gender term (say, while writing a post for my DW) I will take "they" every time over ze/zie/zir simply because it's less linguistically awkward and foreign-sounding to me. But it's also a grammar buster (at least, according to exactly how I was taught) but it's a grammar buster I've always engaged in verbally simply to keep my descriptions shorter and more efficient (my speech tends to take every shortcut I can take to save time and therefore can be almost over-condensed), so switching "they" over to my writing is not much of a stretch, even if it does make me feel guilty every time I use it - because I feel like I'm breaking a rule of some sort.