(no subject)

[darkoshi]

I should not be angry.
It is not his fault
that I was stupid enough
to go along with this stupid idea.

Am I angry at myself,
at him,
or at the world?

Fear leads to anger.

I should not be afraid.
It's nothing I can't handle.

Maybe it will teach me
not to be stupid
in this manner again.
Or maybe not for at least
another 20 years.

Are a hundred mosquito bites
any worse than five?

I hope it scratches him,
goddamit!!

grumble.

I should not be angry.

I wish I could at least be in the kind of relationship
where I could get enjoyment
from knowing that someone devious
were taking glee in my discomfort.

I wish I knew
that I could still feel enjoyment
from something like that.

It is interesting though.
And I wanted to see what it was like.
So it is no one's fault but my own.
So I really should not be angry.
And I can handle it.
So I should not be afraid.
It's no big deal.
Puffy white clouds,
not a care in the world.

It's really not that bad now.
Maybe I'm just too imaginative.
I can imagine too many fearful things.