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if i were to do a personal ad
the only kind of person who might be interested in me
would probably be weird too.
why would any sane "normal" person
be interested in someone as pathetic as me?
not that a weird person being interested in me
would necessarily be a bad thing.
it would probably be preferable to sane normality.
whatever normality and weirdness are.
what i'm trying to say is...
the only kind of person who might be interested
in someone as socially shy & inept & unsocial & odd as me,
would have to be someone with social problems too.
since socially well-adjusted people
probably wouldn't consider
making the effort or wasting the time
of getting to know someone like me.
then again,
non-socially-well-adjusted people
would probably be even less likely or able
to get to know me,
since they would have problems similar to my own.
sigh.
it's hopeless.
...
31 yo genderqueer novice bottom/sub seeks genderqueer top/dom
for exploration of nonsexual BDSM experiences.
...
31 yo asocial asexual genderqueer novice bottom/sub
seeks genderqueer or gender-indifferent top/dom or switch
to explore BDSM with in a non-sexual manner.
yeah, that's the ticket!
except if i posted an ad like that
and if someone replied,
i'd be uncertain about what to do next and scared to do it.
for comfort,
one would need to get to know someone
before embarking upon a BDSM experience with them.
how would i do that,
when i've never been able to do it before?
for safety,
one's supposed to get references about a person
before embarking upon BDSM activities with them.
one's supposed to map out an agreed list
of do's and don't-do's and such.
how would i get that to happen?
what if decided i disliked the person
or couldn't become comfortable with them?
how could i accept that,
without convincing myself that i wouldn't be able
to become comfortable with anyone else either,
and therefore giving up on the whole idea?
ain't gonna happen, ain't gonna happen...
i'm too timid, too shy, too uncertain,
too uncomfortable interacting and communicating with people,
too convinced that it couldn't happen or wouldn't work.
i'm too pathetic.
gods, strike me down!!!
release this hopelessly pathetic wretch
from its pathetic, worthless existence!
...
31 yo good-hearted independent-minded liberal asocial asexual genderqueer novice bottom/sub
seeks
non-smoking liberal genderqueer or gender-indifferent top/dom or switch
to explore BDSM with in a non-sexual manner,
with the possibility of falling deeply in like with said person,
and if said person is not monogamously-married,
of perhaps entering into a relationship with them
where even sex might not be out of the question.
would probably be weird too.
why would any sane "normal" person
be interested in someone as pathetic as me?
not that a weird person being interested in me
would necessarily be a bad thing.
it would probably be preferable to sane normality.
whatever normality and weirdness are.
what i'm trying to say is...
the only kind of person who might be interested
in someone as socially shy & inept & unsocial & odd as me,
would have to be someone with social problems too.
since socially well-adjusted people
probably wouldn't consider
making the effort or wasting the time
of getting to know someone like me.
then again,
non-socially-well-adjusted people
would probably be even less likely or able
to get to know me,
since they would have problems similar to my own.
sigh.
it's hopeless.
...
31 yo genderqueer novice bottom/sub seeks genderqueer top/dom
for exploration of nonsexual BDSM experiences.
...
31 yo asocial asexual genderqueer novice bottom/sub
seeks genderqueer or gender-indifferent top/dom or switch
to explore BDSM with in a non-sexual manner.
yeah, that's the ticket!
except if i posted an ad like that
and if someone replied,
i'd be uncertain about what to do next and scared to do it.
for comfort,
one would need to get to know someone
before embarking upon a BDSM experience with them.
how would i do that,
when i've never been able to do it before?
for safety,
one's supposed to get references about a person
before embarking upon BDSM activities with them.
one's supposed to map out an agreed list
of do's and don't-do's and such.
how would i get that to happen?
what if decided i disliked the person
or couldn't become comfortable with them?
how could i accept that,
without convincing myself that i wouldn't be able
to become comfortable with anyone else either,
and therefore giving up on the whole idea?
ain't gonna happen, ain't gonna happen...
i'm too timid, too shy, too uncertain,
too uncomfortable interacting and communicating with people,
too convinced that it couldn't happen or wouldn't work.
i'm too pathetic.
gods, strike me down!!!
release this hopelessly pathetic wretch
from its pathetic, worthless existence!
...
31 yo good-hearted independent-minded liberal asocial asexual genderqueer novice bottom/sub
seeks
non-smoking liberal genderqueer or gender-indifferent top/dom or switch
to explore BDSM with in a non-sexual manner,
with the possibility of falling deeply in like with said person,
and if said person is not monogamously-married,
of perhaps entering into a relationship with them
where even sex might not be out of the question.
no subject
1) Post such an ad (or even better multiple different ads in different forums). I'd concentrate on queer-friendly places, since they are far more diverse.
2) Email anyone who responds who sounds non-creepy and keep up an email correspondence until you feel less scared about meeting them (for me at least, meeting someone that I already know in some fashion is far easier than meeting strangers.
2) Have coffee with the person and see how it goes.
You have nothing to lose but loneliness.
no subject
no subject