errant thoughts revisited

It's curious reading some of my old writings. Like from two decades ago. I used wordplay and oblique references to things. Now, for some of those posts, I can't remember what I had been referencing, or what events sparked the words and feelings. So for me to read it now, is probably what it was like back then, for others to read it, if they were to have ever done so.

For example:

* august 5, 2000 *

visiting an old haunt
i was disturbed by what i found
a poltergeist haunting my abandoned abode

breaking the clear silence
with words of hate
(or were they words of pain?)
or were they just words

playing tricks in the halls and
dripping blood on the clean marble floors

but i doubt this poltergeist was expecting visitors,
so should i take offense from its lack of hospitality?


...

I feel like if I think about it hard enough, I might remember what that was about. Or I might not. If I don't, it's a part of my history / memory / inner life that may forevermore be lost to me. A part of my history become a mystery.

...

update: I remembered what that entry was about. I used to frequent a Culture Club message board with a group of other online fans. Over time many of my acquaintances there drifted away, and more flak got posted; including a fair bit of trolling & unpleasantness. I drifted away too, but checked back once in a while. The website owner eventually set up a new message board with tighter controls, but the old board page was still there and still usable.

I had checked the old page, and found that a solitary troll had posted even more unpleasant and vicious messages in the meanwhile, even though no one else was using that board anymore.