(no subject)

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 10:20 pm
apiphile: (i hate that thing you love)
[personal profile] apiphile
Things my brain has done today

1. "I am frustrated with doing badly at the gym, therefore I will take this IOC-approved performance-enhancer known as 'a lot of caffeine', do well at the gym". I took the 200mg caffeine pill. I did well at the gym. My brain promptly decided that this was because I was doing it wrong, having apparently forgotten that "cheated by taking drugs" was an option for explaining why things went okay. When reminded of this, it peevishly shouted at me that my form is terrible and I am never going to get any better, my breaks are too long, I probably miscounted on all my sets, and that I'm fat. Reminder re: pain and workouts and life in general to breathe with the thing instead of holding my breath, gritting my teeth, and then being furious when I can't shoulder my way through powered solely with anger.
2. I got the long-awaited referral letter to St Peter's (wangdiddling clinic); hooray, a little less stress? WRONG. "You're going to be so fat by the time they see you they won't give you surgery. They're going to want to know why your choices 'evolved'. They're going to call you a fucking liar. NO SURGERY FOR YOU." Apparently the bradycardia, which is enough to merit mention again, and again, doesn't factor. For. Reasons. Following: obsessive thoughts about how much I will weigh when I go for my revision appointment over the chest surgery. "YOU'RE GOING TO GET FIRED FROM YOUR JOB FOR TAKING TOO MUCH TIME OFF FOR MEDICAL STUFF EVEN THOUGH THAT'S FUCKING ILLEGAL".
3. Having accepted that I wasn't going to have time to type up my outline edits if I got the bus, and that I need to get them recorded because my outline-printing deadline is the 20th, I took the sensible decision to take the train this once. Sat down with the lizard lamp on, did this, expanded on my edits, made some sense of my outline (as usual, days 25-27 are a chaotic mess with increasingly few plot points. generally however this is okay as by then the story is writing itself). Proceeded to beat myself up for... nothing? Literally nothing. Not spending unnecessary money. Not being complacent about my outline. Just generic stress.
4. Things that have actually gone badly today: Landlady emailed us to share her annoyance that our shitass buildings management company will indeed be building a fucking flat on top of our flat therefore making it permanently impossible for me to store my bike anywhere other than in the wardrobe, although they have just fucked off for a fortnight in the middle of stripping the stairs; IMMEDIATE STRESS AND WOE added to by Linds making absolute sure that I fucking knew about this; Tumblr introducing the same garbage algorithm that ruined every other website; everyone and his dog (all of them with family support of course) posting doomy articles about how fucked my country is. Maybe we'll all die soon instead.
5. Got the train, finished my outline edits, beat myself up about how stupid and derivative my story is and how little I know about my characters and how wooden it's going to feel and how no one will want to read it; tried not to dwell on the feeling which surfaced last night of being surrounded by complete strangers (ie, like i don't know the people i live with or the people i am friends with, that i'm completely isolated or alien to it all).
6. Weirdly, no psychological recriminations whatsoever for eating a piggy bao at 4.30am - Lindsay bought me one after we had a row about tax documents followed by him going to see Thor etc. He says he'll take me to see it next week so. That's nice I guess. https://www.instagram.com/p/BaX-48ohJik/?taken-by=derekdesanges piggy bao
7. I don't understand why even doing things successfully makes my brain drown itself with overwhelming self-loathing.

Other

I trick myself into coming into work by putting food in the fridge that HAS to be eaten the next day or it will be wasted.

Blog: https://derekdesanges.wordpress.com/2017/10/18/publishing-pick-your-poison-by-owl-hollow-press/

Uh. Oh yeah. FB reminded me indirectly that it's been roughly two years since Doug's cardiac arrest and subsequent hypoxic brain injury so fucking woo hoo.

Ugh also my stupid protein shit was supposed to be delivered today but as usual Yodel and our doorbell and night shift sleep patterns conspired to throw a wrench in the works.

Anyway if I still feel this bad tomorrow I'm calling in sick, even if my brain is screaming at me that they'll think I'm malingering because sick leave this week runs into my holiday allowance and blah blah blah

YES BRAIN I GET IT EVERYONE HATES ME SHUT UP

Who wants to sign up for the readalong of this year's stupid fucking book

I'm not in the right mindset to sell you on this atm.

so very streaky

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 02:40 pm
solarbird: (widow)
[personal profile] solarbird
I've still got this damned head cold or whatever it is and it's awful and won't go away. I was feeling better yesterday but that didn't last.

I was fuckin' terrible today in lunchtime Overwatch. Well, as Widow, anyway. I was good as Tracer as always, and the weird thing is, the one time I wasn't terrible as Widow, it was in deathmatch, where I was surprisingly competitive against a pretty heavy set of enemies including three Pharahs and a D.va, which is not normally a recipe for competitiveness but I was.

So I was feeling pretty okay in warmup. But christ, go into quickplay and suddenly it's WHAT IS SNIPERS? and I can't hit a shot to save my life. (And that included while winning. So.)

This is in huge contrast to yesterday where I was not just playing well, but had another entire game of being the Widowmaker I want to be. Defence in Hollywood, 70% scope accuracy, eight criticals, golds in objective kills and objective time and silver in total kills, enemy Bastion got so sick of me that he tried being enemy Widow and yeah that did not help, enemy Pharah kept trying to go over the gate wall and I just kept one-shotting her out of the air until she got so mad that on their last serious push she apparently decided "y'know what, fuck the objective, fuck the game, I'm killing that fucking Widowmaker at least once" and went through the security office while I was busy with other people, jumped me from behind and let loose her one and only ult at point-blank range just for me.

Honestly, I felt quite flattered.

I guess the short form is I am still a work in progress, and it shows.

(no subject)

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 02:00 pm
[personal profile] martianmooncrab
I had a slow start to my day and then I waited on the sister creature to finish up with the Kidlet before leaving for the signing. It was too late to do a lot of my enroute stops, so I will do them today.

I have an appt with the naturopath today, and then there is the signing at the Beaverton Powells with Hearne, Wendig, and Wilde.

Did other stuff when I got home, still mulling over what values friendship has. Got a lot going on in the brain over that.

On top of everything else, I have a tooth starting to go bad. To get the VA to fix it, one shows up in the Dental office and you might get seen if they have a doctor available. I will start tomorrow, but first calling to see if they do have a dentist in the shop thats doing the emergency visits. Then of course is the hour drive up there and how many other folks are wanting to be seen without an appointment. Its such a load of fun at times, meanwhile, the tooth is letting itself known.
china_shop: Neal, Peter and Elizabeth smiling (Default)
[personal profile] china_shop
Reading
I finished Whispers Under Ground by Ben Aaronovitch. It was good, but I'm not sure these books are quite my genre -- I want less focus on complicated cases and just a touch more on interpersonal relationships and the process of learning magic. Maybe I should just read the fanfic? Anyway, my TV died over the weekend, so now the boy and I are spending our evenings listening to the audiobook of Midnight Riot, the first Rivers of London book, which is wryly and excellently performed by Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, who does all the accents and makes me wish they'd stripped out the unnecessary speech tags.

Currently... I still have Cary Elwes waiting for me, but first I'm catching up on fanfic (primarily Les Mis E/R, and Star Wars Finn/Poe) and various internet posts that've been accumulating on my Kindle.

Kdramas
I've watched four episodes of Chicago Typewriter, and I'm soooo confuuuuused. Is it past-lives or time travel? Or a mix of both? Is Yoo a manifestation of the spirit of the typewriter (in which case, am I shipping Han Se Joo/the typewriter o.O)? And did they only name Yoo that so they could use that Platters song "Only You (and You Alone)" in the soundtrack -- hilariously, I might add? What is going onnnn? (Please don't tell me!)

Also, it's a little painful watching him struggle with writer's block, when I too am in a slump. I keep shouting advice at him that I am not taking myself. ;-P

I also watched the 2-episode time-travel/undercover-as-a-eunuch drama, Splash Splash Love, about a high school student who runs away from her SAT exams and jumps through a puddle into drought-stricken Jeoseon, where her identity is immediately mistaken because apparently "high school senior" is a homophone for "eunuch" in Korean. It was cute but felt like a school play compared to Moonlight Drawn by Clouds, by which I mean they didn't manage to sell me on the world-building, and the relationships felt very rushed. And the age difference between the pairing bothered me. And (on an extremely shallow note) the actors weren't as pretty.

J and I have given up on My Girl (I'll finish it on my own) and switched to Master's Sun instead, which is a re-watch for me. Ghosts! Humour! Complicated backstories! Oh, my!

Mystery Queen and Chief Kim are both on hold this week.

Other TV
My TV turned into a radio over the weekend, so our Parks & Recreation re-watch has stalled (though we did watch the Halloween episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine last night on my teeny laptop). Since I failed to buy a replacement over the weekend, I decided to explore the possibility of having my TV repaired after all and yesterday drove half an hour up the motorway and into Lower Hutt to the repair place.

I realise that to many of you, half an hour's drive sounds like nothing, but Wellington is very compact, and when I gave the repair guy my address, he said, "You're a long way from home." Heh.

Anyway, we have the rest of Parks and The Expanse s2 on DVD waiting for us, and Pru comes over to watch dramas with me once a week, so I'm going to have to resolve the issue somehow. I'd rather not watch stuff on my desktop, because it would involve reconfiguring my living room.

Writing
Ha ha ha ha ha. *sigh*

Korean study
I had my first language exchange over the weekend. We talked for over two hours, in a mix of Korean and English, and we're meeting again tomorrow. I'm a little concerned that we want different things, but I guess we'll see how we go.

I've also downloaded Duolingo, now they offer Korean, and I'm working my way through that. It's fun and addictive (game-ification!), but I'm not sure I'm learning a great deal. I need to knuckle down and actually memorise some vocab.

And my classes start up again this evening.

Computer
The guy who used to fix my computer finally emailed me back (\o/) and said he's super busy atm, so I'm hanging in here, waiting until his time frees up enough that he can look at it. Which is 100% better than not having a plan.

Today...
...is sunny and warming up. I have some errands to run, and I think I'm going to bike out and have lunch with the boy. And then, of course, Kclass.
sistawendy: (lizzy)
[personal profile] sistawendy
I called Mom from the bus yesterday to warn her that the zit on the face of humanity that is Richard Spencer is coming to the University of Florida, and that she should avoid the UF campus while that's happening. It turns out I needn't have worried: she knew who he was. She also knew that the president of the UF had originally planned to deprive him of a platform, but what I didn't know was that the UF's board of directors had caved in to the threat of a lawsuit and allowed Spencer to come. She also knew that Florida's governor had arranged for a heavy law enforcement presence. I'm relieved in more than one way that she's on top if this situation.

I've mentioned this before: the UF campus was my second home growing up. It was my happy place to be a nerdy closet trans girl. And now it's being defiled by chickenshit, broken-headed racists. I hope Gainesville gives them hell.

My father, who was a professor at UF and death on racism, is turning in his grave.

A couple of tumblr posts

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 09:29 am
marthawells: (Default)
[personal profile] marthawells
* My publisher made Murderbot tattoos and sent them to me: https://marthawells.tumblr.com/post/166534388472/i-have-murderbot-tattoos-and-arcs-of-the


* Another quote from The Murderbot Diaries: Artifcial Condition for Book Quote Wednesday on Twitter: https://marthawells.tumblr.com/post/166536276597/for-book-quote-wednesday-on-twitter-the-murderbot

Wrinkle in Time

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 01:34 pm
jack: (Default)
[personal profile] jack
OK, so I actually read "Wrinkle in Time" (and book #2 but not any more). I think I'd had the impression that I'd read it at some point and forgotten, but now I think I never read it at all, it's really really different to anything I remember reading.

It's very good at what it does.

It's very shivery when they realise how far the horrible grey mist on the universe has spread.

It sets up a very convincing backdrop of angels and other beings fighting against badness with human help, in ways where this is how the universe works, and what people stumble upon is the same stuff that scientists like the childrens' parents are just starting to discover.

The characters of the children (well, mostly Meg and precious Charles Wallace at this point) are very good.

I stumbled on the narrative convention of mentor figures swooping in and saying "hey children, only you can do this, you need to go through this set of trials, when this happens, do this, you don't need to know about X, good luck". Like, that's a common narrative convention that works very well: you just don't question too hard the mentor figures have some special insight into how quests turn out. It's especially useful in childrens books because you can explain what needs to happen directly to the main character and reader. (Think of all the stories of stumbling onto the first person you meet in a secondary world who says, you need to do X, Y and Z.) But eventually you read too many books where it doesn't work like that that you start to question. Even if you don't ask if they might be lying, you wonder, could they really not spare twenty minutes to summarise the biggest risks and how to avoid them? How do they know what's going to happen? If this is all preordained, they why are they providing even this much help, and if not, and the fate of the world hangs on it, can they really not provide any more help?

This is partly me having been spoiled for some simple narrative conventions by being exposed to too many variants, and possibly (?) me not understanding theology well enough (I'm not sure how much this is something that is supposed to actually happen for real, and how mcuh it's just a book thing?) It doesn't always fail me, this is basically how Gandalf acts all the way through LOTR "OK, now we're going to do this because, um, fate" and I'm happy to accept it all at face value, even when other people quibble, but in some books it bothers me.

Have another cigarette

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 07:27 am
quirkytizzy: (Default)
[personal profile] quirkytizzy
* Wake up shouting from one nightmare. Have a cigarette, go back to bed.

* Wake up shouting from another nightmare a few hours later. Eat some food, have another cigarette, go back to bed.

* Wake up AGAIN shouting from another nightmare. Realize the futility of sleep and haul yourself out of bed. Have six cigarettes.

* Realize the sun is coming up. Think perhaps you can go back to bed soon. Have another cigarette.

* Time to lay back down - after I have another cigarette.

Good old days

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 07:00 am
supergee: (baseball)
[personal profile] supergee
Maybe the world will bring back one of my childhood pleasures: Yankees beat Dodgers

The Blood is the Life for 18-10-2017

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 11:00 am
miss_s_b: (Default)
[personal profile] miss_s_b

10/16/17 PHD comic: 'Confusing Malaise'

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 01:02 am
[syndicated profile] phd_comics_feed
Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham
www.phdcomics.com
Click on the title below to read the comic
title: "Confusing Malaise" - originally published 10/16/2017

For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

Viva BrisVegas, Games and Music

Wednesday, October 18th, 2017 03:17 pm
tcpip: (Default)
[personal profile] tcpip
Have arrived in BrisVegas (as it is known by many) for eResearchAustralasia, and am staying at the pretty acceptable Spring Hill Mews. The first day's arrival was spoilt by illness, I suspect because some fucker sneezed on me on the plane on the way over. Still, by the end of the second day I was feeling better and arrived for the conference welcome reception and then joined a group for dinner at Mucho Mexicano. Whilst it is early days yet the conference itself has been so-so from the first few speakers. Leeanne Enoch gave a good introduction to the conference, especially for a politician, and David De Roure's presentation on Ada Lovelace and computer-generated music was quite enjoyable. I suspect for the rest of this afternoon I'll be staying in the Advancecd Computing stream.

Before leaving Melbourne, I did have the opportunity to run a session of Eclipse Phase finishing the Chain Reaction scenario, which will then be followed up with the subsequent related scenarios. In addition, Karl B., has assisted with the final editing of Papers & Paychecks although, alas, I still haven't managed to track down Tim Kask to do the foreword. On my return to Melbourne it looks like I'll finally get around to seeing Blade Runner 2049, given that I am "a bit" of a fan of the original.

Prior to departure I also managed to see Peter Hook and the Light, at their final Melbourne concert, performing Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures and Closer (after selling my previous tickets to [livejournal.com profile] fustian_. It was a great concert and in next couple of days I hope to have a review written for [personal profile] reddragdiva for Rocknerd, which I'm sure he's looking forward to. Should also mention that I'm half-way through writing an article about that strange alliance that's grown between the Democratic Socialists of America and the Juggalos.

[hist] Oh, hey

Tuesday, October 17th, 2017 11:57 pm
siderea: (Default)
[personal profile] siderea
It was just brought to my attention that per the date traditionally held to be the one on which Luther nailed the 95 Theses to a church door, this Hallowe'en is the 500th anniversary of the start of the Protestant Reformation.