now I want a yodelling pickle

Doing a search on Amazon, I got annoyed that it doesn't let you exclude certain words from the results. (I want chewable vegan vitamins that are NOT gummies!) So I ended up including a few profanities in my ever-lengthening search string.

The results made me laugh.

Yodelling Pickle Musical Toy, Fun for all Ages, Great Gift
"Are you sick and tired of trying to teach your pickles to yodel? Pickles can be so stubborn. At last, the yodeling pickle you've been waiting for. With a mere press of a button (yes, it has a button) this little pickle will yodel its heart out. You'll think you're in the Swiss Alps listening to a yodeling pickle!"


Mugs with witty things written on them:

Mug: "Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice"

(Amazon seems to be telling me, "With a search string like that, you must talk to yourself a lot")

Mug: "i before e. Except after C and also when you heinously seize your feisty foreign neighbor's conceited beige heifer from the ceiling. Weird."

(now I can't even remember any i-before-e words other than retrieve and believe/belief... sieve...)

Mug: "I Shall Purchase a Large Sword | and name it Kindness | and Kill People With Kindness"