wouldn't it be something

if i didn't have breasts...
wouldn't my heart and lungs get colder,
without that insulating flab in front of them?

something dylan posted made me consider that...
if i didn't have breasts...
i might be less opposed to wearing girly-type clothes.
i don't like wearing skimpy tops now,
because they expose the fact that i have breasts.
and because shirts with flimsy straps or wide-cut necklines
just don't look right with sports-bra straps showing through.
but without breasts and bras, that wouldn't be an issue.

and maybe, just maybe...
i like being different.
being a female-looking person wearing female-looking clothes is mundane.
but being a male-looking person wearing female-looking clothes would be... different.

although...
would i be comfortable enough
to expose my lack of breasts by wearing skimpy tops?

people wouldn't understand.
they would see me and wonder what i was.
i don't want all that much attention.

nor would i want people to think i was a prepubescent child.
hopefully i look old enough that that wouldn't be an issue.

and what are the rules for females without breasts -
are they allowed to go topless? or not?
ftm's can claim the masculine rules,
but non-ftm's?
what are females without breasts?
there is no such thing...

well, there are those who've had double mastectomies due to breast cancer...
i don't want people to think i had cancer, and feel sorry for me.
there wouldn't be anything to be sorry about.

it's like cheating.
getting rid of one's breasts is too much of a good thing.
it's just not allowed.
all the other women put up with theirs;
who are you to think you can get rid of yours
and still be accepted in society?
you'd be a cheat, and people have no regard for cheats.

if one entered a women's athletic competition,
surely not having breasts might be an advantage...
so surely that wouldn't be allowed?
(unless they were removed due to cancer,
in which case noone would want to complain and seem inconsiderate.)
so, without breasts, would i no longer be a female in terms of athletic contests? not that i'd be likely to enter any, anyway.

my problem is that i don't have any role-models.
i don't know of any female-born, non-ftm, non-breast-cancer-survivors,
who've had their breasts removed.

is it even done?
there was that one article...
maybe it is more common among lesbians.

maybe i'll have time to do some research this weekend.
or somewhen.
somewhen.
i'm an hour late already again. of course.

ah. and now it's an hour and a half late. whatever.
maybe i'll dream... ah, whatever.