(no subject)

i'm afraid.

i don't want to live in a fascist country.
i don't want war.
i don't want to be afraid of the police.
i don't want to be a sheep.
i don't want to live in a country where millions of people think getting rid of democratic ideals and freedoms is a good thing.

i don't understand why people do these things...

i don't want to live in a country where you can get into trouble at a presidential rally
just for wearing a t-shirt saying "Protect Our Civil Liberties".

i don't want to be afraid like this, that the election won't even be a fair election.

i don't want to think about things just getting worse and worse.

but i don't see what's going to stop it.

and maybe living in turbulent times, with something to fight against,
is more interesting and challenging than living in a peaceful idealistic world.
but i don't want it.
because it won't really be interesting and challenging, it will be dreadful.
it is dreadful already.

but why should i dread.
big fucking deal.
what will be, will be.
what is, is.

i don't want all the other things which have been going on, to go on, either.
sigh......

you know what? this is a bad place. yep. whatever.

people make me uneasy, when i can't understand their motives. when i can't picture the world through their eyes. when it doesn't make sense.

and it's an interesting thought... that people make me uneasy, too, because i fear my lack of ability to communicate myself to them.