(no subject)

I've been wondering if I might feel self-conscious for having a flat chest, if I get top surgery. For looking like a female, but not like a female. Which doesn't really make sense, since up till now, I've always been self-conscious when I notice my breasts are noticeable, and not self-conscious when I wear a sports bra which makes my chest look flatter. But I guess I worry that having them removed would make me even flatter... like with a sunken chest, maybe... and that people might pick up on that more. Oh, who cares. But I've been trying to think of the possible negative effects, to make sure I'm willing to put up with them.

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Q said something which struck me in a bad way. About how us not being able to sleep together in the same room would defeat the purpose of me going a particular place with him.

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What if I get on anti-depressants, and they don't make life feel any better? Then what will I do?

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So many people have things so much worse than I do.

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At work, I don't *want* to lead any meetings. I don't *want* to be put in charge of anything. Give me some work, tell me what needs to be done, and I'll do it. Tell me to present something in a meeting, and I can even do that. But if you tell me to lead something, or to be in charge of other people, then I get all uncomfortable and nervous. Please don't do that.

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A hawk flew towards me and past me, following the path of the street I was walking on, between the trees on either side, carrying a small animal in its talons.

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