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Zorro was diagnosed with congestive heart failure last August. Back then, she had a build-up of fluid drained from her abdomen. She was put on heart medicine and a diuretic to prevent more fluid from building up. The diuretic caused incontinence issues at first, but that issue went away after the dosage was adjusted. Zorro did quite well on the medicine, better than the vet expected, and it wasn't her heart that ended up giving out.
Last Monday morning, Zorro kept collapsing to the floor. She'd sit or stand back up, then a while later fall down again. She was having sporadic convulsions which made her legs jerk. I pet her for a while, after which she stood up and walked through the doggy door outside as if she was good again. That made me hope it had been a momentary problem. But outside, she collapsed again on the ground. She stayed lying there as if she could no longer get up.
Qiao and I carried her into the car and took her to the vet's office. We were both worried this was something that couldn't be healed. The vet examined her and found a large mass on her liver and internal bleeding. The internal bleeding was somehow causing the convulsions; I don't remember exactly what was said. But I later found this page which explains the condition:
Internal Bleeding in Older Dogs
The most common cause of internal bleeding in older dogs in general is cancer. And the most common cancer that causes this is hemangiosarcoma. Hemangiosarcoma is a tumor made up of blood vessel cells. It most commonly causes tumors to form on the spleen, liver, and heart, but less commonly can cause tumors on any organ, or even the skin or inside of the body wall. Studies have shown that when a dog presents with internal bleeding in the abdomen, there is an 85% chance that this is because of cancer. The tumors can grow quite large in some cases, but they often don’t cause an issue until they bleed. Once they rupture and bleed, the patient becomes anemic and starts showing signs of weakness, collapse, or trouble breathing.
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In many cases there are a couple options. The most aggressive is to take the animal to surgery to try to remove the bleeding tumor, especially if ultrasound only saw one tumor that could be easily removed. Another option is to try palliative care, meaning start medications that might slow bleeding and spend some time with your pet knowing that they will likely have to consider the third option in the very near future: euthanasia. For those that have surgery and do well, the average survival is 2-3 months before the cancer comes back in a way that we can’t surgically remove it. For those that choose palliative care we can sometimes get patients a couple days, maybe up to a couple weeks of survival after diagnosis.
The vet said Zorro was suffering and should be euthanized. We reluctantly agreed. I sat by Zorro's side to comfort her. I called up my mom to let her know, and she drove to the vet's office to be with us and Zorro. The vet's office was very compassionate throughout the whole thing and let us have as much time and privacy as we wanted. They laid a soft comforter on the floor, on which I sat with Zorro. They gave Zorro some treats, but she didn't eat any (which was very unlike her and another indication of how sick she must have been feeling). I had tried to give her water earlier, which she hadn't wanted either.
After my mom got there and had some time with Zorro, we told the vet people we were ready. They gave Zorro three injections, a sedative, then an anesthetic, and then the last one. After checking that her heart had stopped, they let us have more time alone. I kept sitting by Zorro's side, with my hand under her side, wanting to be sure that her pulse had stopped, and that she was really gone. I sat with her like that at the end for quite some time, though in retrospect it can't have been more than 10 or 15 minutes. From beginning to end, we were at the vet for about 2 and a half hours.
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Date: 2022-05-17 03:59 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2022-05-17 04:27 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2022-05-27 04:12 am (UTC)From:Your thoughts throughout all the Zorro entries are beautiful and gripping and your emotion is quite well-warranted and comprised of exactly the things I have thought about and felt a) in watching a well-loved cat being euthanized and b) my mom passing. Let me know if there's anything I can do (if you still have any number for me, you still have my number so feel free to call or text).
no subject
Date: 2022-05-27 06:40 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2022-05-29 04:54 am (UTC)From:(When OP tried to hand me Bowie after he plucked him off a nearby tree late one night I did not want him and said No. I didn't want to go through having a cat again, especially not another B&W like Stuie, who I'd lost maybe only 5 months before. OP insisted, though, so I carried him in very reluctantly and six years later, here we are. I hate to say I like him better than Stuie but Stuie was getting old and grumpy by the time I got him, and was honestly kind of a jerk.)