(no subject)

Aah. Goodness. I think it is a lot easier to fall asleep when one is feeling sad, than when one is feeling good/happy/excited.

If being happy means not being able to fall asleep, I don't know if I can handle it.

I was standing on the scale this morning, watching the dial shake back and forth from my heartbeat.

And if being happy/excited means having a positive attitude, and looking forward to things, how can one but help becoming sad when the things one looks forward to don't end up happening?
And how can one help but thinking, "Why should I continue to believe that good things are going to happen, when they don't? Why should I believe a lie?"

And it seems a lot easier to make oneself sad, than to make oneself happy... perhaps I've gotten into the habit of taking the easy way.