Darkoshi

Last year on or around October 20, Wyze's golden cam treasure hunt started, with daily puzzles and clues. I was pained that I had to work and couldn't spend as much time as I'd like on it.

Yesterday I discovered Ren launched an online puzzle/game: The Money Game, in advance of the release of his song "Money Game Part 3". The game started on Friday, and I think it lasts 7 days - I'm not sure what happens if a daily puzzle isn't solved. The TOS page on the site explains how the game works, but it's still not very clear to me. A daily riddle, one person entering the answer to unlock a video with more riddles that go down rabbit holes, entering another answer, and then one final winner every day who is the first to answer 10 questions? With community solving going on on several different social media sites.

When I first opened the Discord site yesterday, there were so many posts on the thread about the game that trying to scroll to the top of the thread or pressing Control+Home only took me back a few minutes each time. Doing a search, I found that adding "/0" at the end of the URL takes you to the beginning of the thread. Of course I didn't have time to read the whole thing; there were other things I had to do yesterday.

Last night while searching and exploring the various pages about the game, I found that the first day's puzzle had been solved. This video explains its clues and solution:

Video title: Money Game Day 1! Thank You renmakesmusic for such an AMAZING way to bring so many people together!
Posted by: Rika Shae
Date posted: Sep 30, 2023


I'm feeling that same excitement and pain of not being able to spend more time on it, as with last year's Wyze game. Along with knowing that I haven't had time to even watch all of Ren's videos and listen to all his songs, so I probably don't have enough background info to figure out the puzzles... but there's still that excitement of wanting to be part of the community solving process. And most of the solution steps mentioned in the above video are ones I theoretically could have figured out, even though it's very unlikely I would have.

Before going to bed last night, I found Rika Shae had also posted a video with the solution to the 2nd day's game. I haven't watched it yet. Per the count down on the website, today's game is kicking off within the next hour. Sigh. I'd need to take a week of vacation if I wanted to play!! Grrrrr.

On the other hand, I've got interesting puzzles to figure out for my work too. Oh, the puzzles the puzzles...

Snowflakes!!!!!

I've decided that the label "submissive" really doesn't fit me well. Rather, I'm a bottom with some submissive tendencies who enjoys psychological D/s play. Not as easy to say, but... better descriptive.

I don't want D/s to be the basis or crux of a relationship. I want friendship, partnership, companionship, and affection to be the basis. But I like D/s as play, as something fun, something which affects me strongly and makes me feel good. I believe I even need it, to enjoy a relationship. When I say "play", I don't mean it can't be serious, and significant, and even painful at times. But I don't see myself as being constantly submissive. As part of the play, I might even want to act rebellious sometimes. But sometimes, I might not want to play at all.

I don't want someone who will treat me like a sub all the time, but I do want someone who might treat me like a sub at any time.

.

I want to be loved for who I am.

When I close my eyes at night, I want to feel sheltered by someone's concern and affection for me.

When I wake, I want to feel that the care & concern & affection is real and tangible, not just something I pretended/invented in order to fall comfortably asleep.

I want to love someone for who they are, not just for the affection they show me.

I want someone who can inspire that wonderfully euphoric feeling in me that has something to do with D/s.

I want someone with whom I can feel comforted by their physical touch and presence at least as often as I resort to comforting myself by thinking about it when I am alone.

In other words, I want to spend more time with my partner, than I spend yearning to be with them. But I guess there would need to be some times of yearning, in order for me to recognize how much they mean to me.

.

I was trying to think of the word to describe a particular relationship, like between my master/soulmate and me in one of my fantasies. The kind of relationship where the one has power over the other... in the fantasy, it was absolute power - life & death; power to read my thoughts and emotions; etc. In real life, I guess it could be a lesser power... But where, like in the fantasy, the other person can look at me (straight through me) in a way that makes my insides drop... makes me lose balance, feeling that power of theirs over me. A wonderful feeling of belonging, of fear, of excitement, of acknowledging their power over me.

I can't think of the word for describing that particular kind of relationship.
Disciple, no. Minion, no. Dominant/submissive, not necessarily. Master/slave, no.
Master/something... maybe. Master/pupil, not necessarily.

When I was young, I used to envision master/apprentice relationships as that kind of relationship. I had read books about apprentices where the master even had the power to have the apprentice put to death, if they were displeased enough with them. And then there was Star Wars, where Darth Vader was the Emperor's apprentice... oh, that was so cool.
But nowadays, the term apprentice just means to me someone who is being taught things. It doesn't so much imply the master having power over the student.

And for the relationship I'm trying to think of the word for, the "master" wouldn't necessarily even have to be teaching the other person anything. It wouldn't even need to be a consensual power-exchange relationship, just one where the one person has some kind of significant power over the other. Such as a captor and captive. It seems like there should be some word for that. Maybe it will come to me.

Aah. Goodness. I think it is a lot easier to fall asleep when one is feeling sad, than when one is feeling good/happy/excited.

If being happy means not being able to fall asleep, I don't know if I can handle it.

I was standing on the scale this morning, watching the dial shake back and forth from my heartbeat.

And if being happy/excited means having a positive attitude, and looking forward to things, how can one but help becoming sad when the things one looks forward to don't end up happening?
And how can one help but thinking, "Why should I continue to believe that good things are going to happen, when they don't? Why should I believe a lie?"

And it seems a lot easier to make oneself sad, than to make oneself happy... perhaps I've gotten into the habit of taking the easy way.

I just experienced 2 very curious coincidences this evening, in close proximity to each other. It's things like that which sometimes give me the momentary feeling, that the universe is magical.

Oh, wow, wow, wow....


Shoot, I think I was wanting to be introspective this weekend, but now I'm all... a-tizzy with *ooh!-i-found-something-out!* excitement.