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I was thinking today that a part of my problem is that, all logic aside, I haven't emotionally accepted that me and Qiao are finished. That it's finito, game over, no more. But I'm getting there. It's strange how emotions and logic can be such separate and conflicting forces within a person. (And how emotions themselves can be so conflicting. There were emotional forces, after all, in addition to the logical ones, which led to the break-up.)
I do want Qiao to be happy. I do want him to meet someone nice who is compatible with him. Yet imagining him already now being or getting involved with other people bothers me, because that would mean he got over me faster than I got over him. That would mean he didn't really care that much about me. Although that reasoning wouldn't necessarily be true; it might just mean he's more pragmatic than me, or deals with sadness in different ways than me, or gets on with his life faster than me.
I still don't totally trust that he wasn't involved with other people even while involved with me. He's so nice, and he hasn't done anything to tarnish his image in my eyes like Wododu did, but still I have these niggling doubts. What does that say about me? Will I never be able to totally trust anyone, even when they are trustworthy?
.
What does "to play the dozen" mean? I heard it on TV, a teacher was dealing with a difficult student and told him, "I'm not going to play the dozen with you". So I searched Google, and found an instance of it in a JayZ song, but that didn't explain the meaning or etymology for me.
I do want Qiao to be happy. I do want him to meet someone nice who is compatible with him. Yet imagining him already now being or getting involved with other people bothers me, because that would mean he got over me faster than I got over him. That would mean he didn't really care that much about me. Although that reasoning wouldn't necessarily be true; it might just mean he's more pragmatic than me, or deals with sadness in different ways than me, or gets on with his life faster than me.
I still don't totally trust that he wasn't involved with other people even while involved with me. He's so nice, and he hasn't done anything to tarnish his image in my eyes like Wododu did, but still I have these niggling doubts. What does that say about me? Will I never be able to totally trust anyone, even when they are trustworthy?
.
What does "to play the dozen" mean? I heard it on TV, a teacher was dealing with a difficult student and told him, "I'm not going to play the dozen with you". So I searched Google, and found an instance of it in a JayZ song, but that didn't explain the meaning or etymology for me.