Darkoshi

I tried to be nonchalant about it in the prior post, but have been in low-level panic mode since that evening. Only a low level because:

- for the time being at least, I can still access all my Gmail accounts via IMAP.
- I always save emails and attachments to files on my computer as I read them, so being locked out of Gmail *won't* result in me losing any data. (But it's time to backup my computer files; I don't yet have that automated.)
- I have many different accounts and emails, and only a few of them are Gmail/Google.
- I suspect that if I try to log in from my own house, it may well succeed, as maybe that's the IP address I last logged in successfully from.
- If absolutely necessary, I could find some phone number, possibly a temporary throw-away one, to use for the account (though based on a link below, even this might not suffice!)

Still, it feels like the rug has been pulled out from under me, that the rules have been changed, that it's no longer sufficient to know your own password and security answers, that regardless of all that, an unreachable machine can decide to no longer let me in based on whatever criteria *it* chooses.

Once I am able to log in, I can finish deleting any remaining content and close down the account(s) to ensure this never happens again. I've already signed up for two replacement non-Gmail email accounts, and have switched over my LJ and DW accounts to them.

The thing that pains me most to consider is closing down my YouTube channel and removing all the videos that I've posted there over the years. That's the account I *was* able to login to the other day. But again, the rug is gone; I feel like I could lose access to it any time now. I could leave the channel and videos up and simply not post anything new there. But I don't like the idea of not being able to take the videos down in the future, if I someday wanted to.

I could delete the videos from YouTube and upload them to Vimeo instead, but I've never felt they were good enough for Vimeo, so I don't know if I really would. Do Vimeo embeds work in Dreamwidth? I don't remember.

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It's not only Google; I no longer trust any of my free accounts to remain accessible. It sounds like what may trigger this problem is deleting cookies (so that your device is not "recognized") and using your device in different locations or with different ISPs (so that your IP number is not recognized). Possibly also using various different browsers. I've been doing that for years already though, and haven't had this problem with Gmail before now. But I don't login to these accounts on the web very often, as I mostly access them via IMAP and Thunderbird, so I honestly don't know which browser I used the last time, or whether it was from this house or that one. I recall a similar problem with Yahoo some years back, though that may have been triggered by entering my password wrong too many times before getting it right.

The below posts are all recent; I wonder if Google's changed their security algorithms in a bad way lately.

Based on this post, even giving Google a phone number may not be enough to prevent being locked out: Locked out of Google account for NO reason. How can I ensure this never happens again? (2020/10/22)

Locked out of google account despite multiple correct recovery answers (2020/11/29)

been locked out of my google account for now reason and account recovery does not work (2020/10/18)

"You might have attempted the recovery form many times in the last 24 hours. Try to wait for one week before attempting another account recovery form (do not attempt to sign in or submit account recovery form during the one week period).
After you wait for one week, kindly use the account recovery form: https://accounts.google.com/signin/recovery from previous logged in location/ip address and used device/computer for the account as Google will also check the location and used device/computer. "

What it's like to get locked out of Google indefinitely (2020/10/31)

Microsoft Outlook users had the same kind of problem: (2018/04/13)

I was thinking today that a part of my problem is that, all logic aside, I haven't emotionally accepted that me and Qiao are finished. That it's finito, game over, no more. But I'm getting there. It's strange how emotions and logic can be such separate and conflicting forces within a person. (And how emotions themselves can be so conflicting. There were emotional forces, after all, in addition to the logical ones, which led to the break-up.)

I do want Qiao to be happy. I do want him to meet someone nice who is compatible with him. Yet imagining him already now being or getting involved with other people bothers me, because that would mean he got over me faster than I got over him. That would mean he didn't really care that much about me. Although that reasoning wouldn't necessarily be true; it might just mean he's more pragmatic than me, or deals with sadness in different ways than me, or gets on with his life faster than me.

I still don't totally trust that he wasn't involved with other people even while involved with me. He's so nice, and he hasn't done anything to tarnish his image in my eyes like Wododu did, but still I have these niggling doubts. What does that say about me? Will I never be able to totally trust anyone, even when they are trustworthy?

.

What does "to play the dozen" mean? I heard it on TV, a teacher was dealing with a difficult student and told him, "I'm not going to play the dozen with you". So I searched Google, and found an instance of it in a JayZ song, but that didn't explain the meaning or etymology for me.