Darkoshi

so. many horrible things happening in the world and i'm spending my time writing computer programs. it seems rather short-sighted... hiding away tinkering with machines... but if the people who are free from such suffering don't enjoy their freedom, what good is it?... yeah, right. flippety flip. wars in africa. the scary stories of africa and latin america and everywhere else. check check check. you're dead. because we can kill you. you're imprisoned, because we can imprision you. we're in power, because... why do people do it? because they can, just because. forces of nature. there's no reasoning it. be aware of the evil but don't let it hurt you... tripoli said something. still in the center of the storm. i am a force of nature too. machetes starvation gunshots to the head mass-graves. and then there is everyone who doesn't think killing animals is evil. the blood runs out... the cages... they're too stupid to have any compassion for... too alien, dumb animals... if that's not evil, why should anything else be? nothing's evil. just forces of nature. incomprehensible. it makes sense to them. you're the enemy, you're bad, that's why it's ok to kill you, to electrocute you, to come in a helicopter and gun you down and walk away as if life goes on in a good way for anyone after that. the cia assassinating people, hiding secrets too hideous... and when things aren't secret anymore, nothing happens. nothing changes. hollywood is america's PR machine. the lovely wonderful place of freedom and french-fries and fast cars. it doesn't matter what we do, hollywood is what people see. and what they remember until the truth is too obvious to be covered over with shiny paint and catchy tunes. and by then, it's too late.

the doggy-oh. oh, oh. i'm getting attached, but i'm not letting myself. the most cat-like dog i've encountered. stubborn eater. as if he forgets that food exists. turning his little head away... but then gobbling it up minutes later, proving that he's not all that cat-like. doing his little tap-dance of anticipation on the kitchen floor...
but we can't keep a dog. we don't want to. we don't have the time, the effort, the long-term commitment. he would be better off with someone who cares, really cares... i can't care. the shelter will find someone to adopt him... i always have to wash my hands after touching animals... even humans... i'll have to get over that some day too, perhaps. if there's a reason. i feel bad thinking that he'll have gotten attached to us, and then be disappointed by us giving him up... like we'll be letting him down. or maybe he'll be glad to have someone else... what good are we... no litter-box to clean, at least. wait a minute, wasn't there a mockingbird trapped in the backyard yesterday, i'd better check... oh, dear. it's dark already again.