![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Sunday, March 2nd, 2008 05:46 pmAn electric shock to my brain.
It seems like it would require something strong like that to break through to me, so that I could feel, really feel again.
Once in a very long while, an experience affects me like an electric shock - but it doesn't last.
I am so disillusioned with everything.
I spend all my time doing things that don't really bring me any great satisfaction or happiness, just things that seem like they need to be done, or things that I feel like doing.
The skin on my hands is dry. My hands seem to look so much older than they did a few years ago.
I am not procrastinating doing my taxes; truly, I'm not. I just keep thinking of other things to do first. Surely I can still get them done tonight and still do my daily exercises too, and get to bed on time. Right?
I've started back up doing my daily exercises regularly. It's been about 2 or 3 weeks now. But my legs are still not flexible like they used to be, and I seem to have strained something in my right leg.
Screwing in light bulbs isn't all that easy. No really, I'm not procrastinating. I wanted to write that since yesterday.
The Chinese preserved plums actually taste pretty good. The Watermelon Frost Tea, I haven't tried yet... apparently watermelon frost is some white stuff (fungi?) that grows on watermelon rinds when the watermelon has been filled with Gluer/Glaubers? salt and buried in ceramic pots. The Chinese seem to have a culinary penchant for burying food and digging it up again... It must have been like a form of alchemy.
I am backing up the data on my hard-drive. I keep temporary files sometimes, and I was going through them, seeing which ones could be deleted. Old posts, emails, chats. Some of the more meaningful/affecting ones, I keep around a long time, even though surely I've archived them in my regular backup folders too. But reading one of them brought this post on.
I wanted to let the files copy to the flash drive, while doing my taxes. I had already started doing that this morning, but ran out of space on the flash drive, daggonit, because the files took more physical space on the flash than they did on the hard-drive.
It seems like it would require something strong like that to break through to me, so that I could feel, really feel again.
Once in a very long while, an experience affects me like an electric shock - but it doesn't last.
I am so disillusioned with everything.
I spend all my time doing things that don't really bring me any great satisfaction or happiness, just things that seem like they need to be done, or things that I feel like doing.
The skin on my hands is dry. My hands seem to look so much older than they did a few years ago.
I am not procrastinating doing my taxes; truly, I'm not. I just keep thinking of other things to do first. Surely I can still get them done tonight and still do my daily exercises too, and get to bed on time. Right?
I've started back up doing my daily exercises regularly. It's been about 2 or 3 weeks now. But my legs are still not flexible like they used to be, and I seem to have strained something in my right leg.
Screwing in light bulbs isn't all that easy. No really, I'm not procrastinating. I wanted to write that since yesterday.
The Chinese preserved plums actually taste pretty good. The Watermelon Frost Tea, I haven't tried yet... apparently watermelon frost is some white stuff (fungi?) that grows on watermelon rinds when the watermelon has been filled with Gluer/Glaubers? salt and buried in ceramic pots. The Chinese seem to have a culinary penchant for burying food and digging it up again... It must have been like a form of alchemy.
I am backing up the data on my hard-drive. I keep temporary files sometimes, and I was going through them, seeing which ones could be deleted. Old posts, emails, chats. Some of the more meaningful/affecting ones, I keep around a long time, even though surely I've archived them in my regular backup folders too. But reading one of them brought this post on.
I wanted to let the files copy to the flash drive, while doing my taxes. I had already started doing that this morning, but ran out of space on the flash drive, daggonit, because the files took more physical space on the flash than they did on the hard-drive.