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I am asexual.
Friday, May 2nd, 2008 09:31 pmI am asexual. That's something I used to know, but which I came to be unsure of for the last several years. But it is true. Asexuality can take different forms, but I just read a definition again which fits me quite well: I do not have a need for sex.
I do not have a sex drive. I have no desire for sex. I have been fine without it, and would be fine without ever having it again. All else equal, I would probably prefer to not ever have sex again. I do on a rare occasion experience sexual arousal, which feels great, but even that does not make me "need" or desire sex. I feel horny more often than I feel arousal, and I masturbate when I feel horny. I get more physical satisfaction from masturbation than from sex - I get little physical pleasure from sex itself. I have to be in a certain head-space in order for someone else touching me to even feel erotic, and that head-space is not easy to come by.
I do not experience sexual attraction in the common sense. When I do, on rare occasions, feel what might be considered sexual attraction, or a sexual response to someone, it is not based on their appearance so much as on their attitude and mannerisms in how they interact with me. When I do feel such an attraction, it is a good feeling, but not something that makes me want to have sex with the person.
I like hugging and cuddling and physical touch, but sex itself is messy, time-consuming, rather boring, and only enjoyable insofar as I feel good that the other person feels good. In the beginning, it was somewhat erotic and enjoyable because I was able to get into a certain head-space with it, but that has faded. Even if I were able to get my head-space back, it would be more enjoyable for me without the sex. Not that I wouldn't want any physicality - I would - but I just don't desire the physical act of sex.
I do not have a sex drive. I have no desire for sex. I have been fine without it, and would be fine without ever having it again. All else equal, I would probably prefer to not ever have sex again. I do on a rare occasion experience sexual arousal, which feels great, but even that does not make me "need" or desire sex. I feel horny more often than I feel arousal, and I masturbate when I feel horny. I get more physical satisfaction from masturbation than from sex - I get little physical pleasure from sex itself. I have to be in a certain head-space in order for someone else touching me to even feel erotic, and that head-space is not easy to come by.
I do not experience sexual attraction in the common sense. When I do, on rare occasions, feel what might be considered sexual attraction, or a sexual response to someone, it is not based on their appearance so much as on their attitude and mannerisms in how they interact with me. When I do feel such an attraction, it is a good feeling, but not something that makes me want to have sex with the person.
I like hugging and cuddling and physical touch, but sex itself is messy, time-consuming, rather boring, and only enjoyable insofar as I feel good that the other person feels good. In the beginning, it was somewhat erotic and enjoyable because I was able to get into a certain head-space with it, but that has faded. Even if I were able to get my head-space back, it would be more enjoyable for me without the sex. Not that I wouldn't want any physicality - I would - but I just don't desire the physical act of sex.