So, from what I've read...
Antidepressants don't necessarily work much better than a placebo.
Placebos, however, work quite well.
But a placebo wouldn't work for me, because I'd know it was a placebo. Real doctors don't prescribe placebos, and even if one did, I'd look up the name of what they'd prescribed, and find out that it wasn't a real drug.
In Germany, St. John's Wort extract is used as a natural alternative option to some of the other antidepressants. Some studies have shown that it works similar to SSRIs, but with fewer side-effects - sensitivity to sunlight being one of them, and reducing the efficacy of other medications being another. Like other SSRIs, it takes 4 or more weeks to start working, and it doesn't work for everyone. But the studies that have shown it to be effective were using a high-dosed alcohol-based liquid extract of St. John's Wort, not the lower dosed dry extracts found in pills, capsules, and teas. In Germany, a prescription seems to be required for the liquid extract, so I wouldn't be able to easily get any while I'm over there on my trip. It doesn't sound like it is even available in the U.S. I haven't heard of any American doctors prescribing something like that.
.
I'm waiting till after my Germany trip to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. One can feel worse in the first couple of weeks of starting on an antidepressant, and I don't want that to happen during my trip. So that's why I'm waiting. I suppose I could call them up before the trip, to make an appointment for afterwards, in case they don't have any open dates available right away anyway.
Aetna is supposed to be sending me a hard-copy of their provider directory. Then I'll be able to verify if there's really only those 3 psychs in my area who are covered, or not. But I haven't gotten it yet.
I have an aversion to making doctor appointments in general, and a bigger aversion to making a psych appointment. It's like telling someone else that there's something wrong with my brain. I really don't feel like there's something wrong with my brain. I feel perfectly normal. I want a drug that will make me feel better. Life itself is unpleasant, so I need to be put into an altered, unnatural state, that maybe will make things feel better. Yet I don't logically see how that is possible. The world is full of nasty unpleasant things. People are often nasty and unpleasant, from what is reported. From my own experience, people seem generally polite and well-meaning, but beyond a superficial level, their beliefs and desires seem alien to me. At best, life is just ho-hum or not so bad. Even other people who purport to enjoy life don't look happy to me. Their lives don't seem pleasant to me. Unless taking a drug transports me into a magical realm, how can it really make being alive feel better? So... I'll have to temporarily ignore that mental quibble, when picking up the phone to call for an appointment.
(Magical realm, yes, yes, bring on that magical realm!...)
As long as the medications don't all have gelatin or lactose in them... and don't make me gain weight or mess with my digestive system...
Sometimes, this (as well as the top-surgery thing) seems a thing which is possible. Other times, it doesn't.
(Who am I kidding, what psych will really agree that I'm depressed enough to need medication? Or what psych around here is going to prescribe me meds, without first trying to put me through some kind of useless counseling therapy, or trying to get me to accept Jesus as my lord and savior?)
(Who am I kidding, why should I spend ten thousand or more dollars on top surgery; maybe I'll lose my job or quit, and really need that money for something else. Who am I kidding, what real difference will it make in my life, to get rid of these things on my chest?)
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