Darkoshi

Today I found out that Batteries+Bulbs takes button batteries, in addition to other batteries, for recycling.

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I went to Big Lots, expecting there to still to be Halloween decorations & lights available. It's still two weeks away, after all. Instead, they had Christmas stuff. I got a blue LED light strand.

While I was browsing one side of the store, I kept smelling weed even through my face mask. No one was nearby that I could see. I wondered if someone was smoking it in the back of the store, or if someone smelled so strongly of it that it lingered after they'd walked by.

Shopping really gives me a lift sometimes, finding things that look tasty&vegan&organic, or pretty&useful, or just-what-I-needed-or-wanted. I don't get that lift with known brands that I've had before, unless they are something really good and on sale for a great price. It's mostly with items that are new to me, unknowns, surprises. Big Lots is good for that, because I never know what I might find there.

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I suppose it's best not to give someone else in your household a food or drink you like a lot. It's a repeated anguish seeing it there, unopened, every time you open the refrigerator. You can't have it, because you gave it to *them* as a gift. I need to remind my niece about that bottle of Mama Chia Blackberry Hibiscus, cuz if she don't want it, I *will* drink it.

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Last week while I was working with the windows open, I kept hearing an unfamiliar whining/buzzing noise. I finally looked outside. It was a flying drone! Up over the area across the street where the erstwhile strip mall is. V-shaped, black, with white on the tips of the wings. It must have had propellers, but was too far away to see them. At one point it went up very high, and made me worry. No planes in the area, but still. What if it lost control and fell?

Come to think of it, I think there's a county sheriff's station in that strip mall now. I wonder if it was law enforcement testing out a new gadget, rather than some random person having fun.

Hearing reports about the current opioid epidemic has always made me wonder how bad it is compared to the crack and cocaine epidemics in the 1980s and 90s. So I found some graphs with statistics.

Drug Epidemics: Now and Then - the 3rd graph shows the overdose death rates from 1970 to 2005. The rates increased about 700% during that time, while the first 2 graphs show that it continued to increase steeply since then.

Unlike the current opioid epidemic – which has captured our attention due to the number of overdoses – deaths directly associated with crack ingestion were minimal. Overdose deaths associated with crack did increase from the early 80’s to the early 90’s, but the numbers pale in comparison to opioid overdoses today. It was the indirect effects of crack that proved to be so devastating.
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The consequence was significantly increased homicides, particularly in adolescents. Plus, strict new drug laws plucked inner-city residents from their homes and communities and sent them to jail for many years, making it even more difficult for the families left behind. This also made it hard to integrate back into society following a felony drug charge. Taken together with actual drug overdoses, it’s likely that the crack epidemic cost as many lives if not more than what society is witnessing today with the opioid epidemic.

Drug Deaths in America Are Rising Faster Than Ever - has a graph showing drug overdose deaths from 1980 to 2016.

Homicide trends in the United States - lots of graphs and statistics about homicides in the U.S. between 1976 and 2005. Homicide rates spiked up during the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and have mostly decreased since then. (Unfortunately, the links in the PDF don't seem to work.)

Crime in the United States (1995–2014) - a table showing reduction in violent crime during that time period.

So in summary, in the 70s, 80s, and 90s there weren't that many overdoses, but were a lot of homicides, many of which were gang and drug-related. Whereas now, there are about half as many homicides, but way more overdose deaths.

I've been having trouble sleeping on the weekends lately. In the past, that is when I was somewhat able to compensate for not getting enough sleep during the week. But no more. I've been waking up early, not able to fall back asleep. I feel mentally diminished by it and more prone to headaches. It can't be helping my eye problem either.

The vision in my eye still seems to be better at times and worse at times. The blepharitis hasn't gone away. My eyelid is still swollen along the edge, which probably means that the meibum isn't able to flow freely as it should.

I was supposed to be on a low dose of doxycycline for 3 months. Upon first starting it (end of May, at a higher dose), my face, neck, and chest broke out in small pimples, which still haven't completely cleared up. I was willing to ignore that, in the hopes that the doxycycline would clear up the eye problem.

But a few weeks ago, I started to itch a lot more than normal too, and scratching made me break out in mild hives. The hives would clear up overnight, but by the next evening I'd be itching again. So I stopped taking the doxycycline last week, with my doctor's approval. I might be slightly allergic to it. I'm still not sure the itching was really due to the doxycycline, but since stopping it I've no longer had the hives.

One possible side-effect of doxycyline is photo-sensitivity, and I had been advised to use sunscreen and avoid exposure to sunlight. But I mainly got the hives in the evening, and in places which hadn't been exposed to the sun. So I don't think it was due to that.

I've also been taking daily DHA/EPA omega-3 supplements for the last 5 weeks, and rubbing Azasite eye drops on my eyelid 3 times a week. I'm already tired of doing both, especially since the eyelid swelling doesn't seem improved.

However, my eyelid is less red than it was in the beginning. And I read somewhere that one might need to supplement with EPA for 9 months or more before getting results.

I had to pay $50 for a 30-day supply of 10mg Lexapro tablets. The price without insurance would have been $105. The insurance-agreed (Aetna) pricing is $87.02.

Apparently Lexapro is a "Non-preferred brand copay" type medication (where I pay 20% of the cost of the drug with a $50 minimum).
If it were "Preferred brand copay", it would be 20% of the cost of the drug with a $30 minimum.
If it were "Preferred generic copay", it would be 20% of the cost of the drug with a $10 minimum.

Apparently Lexapro is non-preferred, because it is considered "step therapy", and I would have to try "one or more 'pre-requisite'** medications before the step-therapy medication will be covered".

So if the doctor had prescribed one of the others first, and then Lexapro, it would have been cheaper. If the doctor had prescribed one of the others first, it probably would have been a generic one which would have been even cheaper. And it might have even been one of the ones you could get at Walmart for $4.

I wonder if the drug companies and the doctors have some kind of deal, where the doctor gets a kick-back for prescribing drugs which don't have generic equivalents.


** The pre-requisites are listed as:
Any one of: budeprion sr QL , budeprion xl QL , bupropion hcl QL , bupropion hcl sr QL , citalopram hydrobromide QL , fluoxetine hcl QL , fluvoxamine maleate QL , mirtazapine QL , mirtazapine odt QL , paroxetine hcl QL , sertraline hcl QL , venlafaxine hcl QL

So, from what I've read...

Antidepressants don't necessarily work much better than a placebo.
Placebos, however, work quite well.

But a placebo wouldn't work for me, because I'd know it was a placebo. Real doctors don't prescribe placebos, and even if one did, I'd look up the name of what they'd prescribed, and find out that it wasn't a real drug.

In Germany, St. John's Wort extract is used as a natural alternative option to some of the other antidepressants. Some studies have shown that it works similar to SSRIs, but with fewer side-effects - sensitivity to sunlight being one of them, and reducing the efficacy of other medications being another. Like other SSRIs, it takes 4 or more weeks to start working, and it doesn't work for everyone. But the studies that have shown it to be effective were using a high-dosed alcohol-based liquid extract of St. John's Wort, not the lower dosed dry extracts found in pills, capsules, and teas. In Germany, a prescription seems to be required for the liquid extract, so I wouldn't be able to easily get any while I'm over there on my trip. It doesn't sound like it is even available in the U.S. I haven't heard of any American doctors prescribing something like that.

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I'm waiting till after my Germany trip to make an appointment with a psychiatrist. One can feel worse in the first couple of weeks of starting on an antidepressant, and I don't want that to happen during my trip. So that's why I'm waiting. I suppose I could call them up before the trip, to make an appointment for afterwards, in case they don't have any open dates available right away anyway.

Aetna is supposed to be sending me a hard-copy of their provider directory. Then I'll be able to verify if there's really only those 3 psychs in my area who are covered, or not. But I haven't gotten it yet.

I have an aversion to making doctor appointments in general, and a bigger aversion to making a psych appointment. It's like telling someone else that there's something wrong with my brain. I really don't feel like there's something wrong with my brain. I feel perfectly normal. I want a drug that will make me feel better. Life itself is unpleasant, so I need to be put into an altered, unnatural state, that maybe will make things feel better. Yet I don't logically see how that is possible. The world is full of nasty unpleasant things. People are often nasty and unpleasant, from what is reported. From my own experience, people seem generally polite and well-meaning, but beyond a superficial level, their beliefs and desires seem alien to me. At best, life is just ho-hum or not so bad. Even other people who purport to enjoy life don't look happy to me. Their lives don't seem pleasant to me. Unless taking a drug transports me into a magical realm, how can it really make being alive feel better? So... I'll have to temporarily ignore that mental quibble, when picking up the phone to call for an appointment.

(Magical realm, yes, yes, bring on that magical realm!...)

As long as the medications don't all have gelatin or lactose in them... and don't make me gain weight or mess with my digestive system...

Sometimes, this (as well as the top-surgery thing) seems a thing which is possible. Other times, it doesn't.
(Who am I kidding, what psych will really agree that I'm depressed enough to need medication? Or what psych around here is going to prescribe me meds, without first trying to put me through some kind of useless counseling therapy, or trying to get me to accept Jesus as my lord and savior?)
(Who am I kidding, why should I spend ten thousand or more dollars on top surgery; maybe I'll lose my job or quit, and really need that money for something else. Who am I kidding, what real difference will it make in my life, to get rid of these things on my chest?)

Antidepressants May Harm Cosmetic Surgery Patients - natural herbs including echinacea, ephedra, ginkgo, garlic, ginseng, kava, St. John’s Wort and valerian can cause problems too.

Excess Bleeding After Surgery Found In Patients Taking SSRIs

Antidepressant treatment for chronic depressed patients should not be discontinued prior to anesthesia

Interesting article about the decriminalization of drug use in Portugal.

One surprising tidbit mentioned in the article is that "the U.S. is home to 5% of the global population but 25% of its prisoners." Wow. I did not realize that our incarceration rates were so much higher than anywhere else.


Link found via andrewducker.

or maybe... the valerian drops... just take 5 hrs. to start working....