(no subject)

time for bed. time for bed.
you can't figure out the universe when you're tired.

i'm still confused. i'm still unsure.
I will never be certain.

i'm afraid.
i don't want to have to take care of people when they get old.

already old.
i'm getting old myself.

too old for walks
too old for stairs
too old for running
too old for being young

it's not real.

whose favorite androgyne am i?

it's not real.

good fucking lord. LJ's spellchecker doesn't know the word 'androgyne'.

would i miss it?
what would I miss?
it's not real.

a pat on the shoulder.

a cold shoulder.

it's too real. it's mundane.
it's not fantasy, not special.

i'm so sick of being alive.
there's nothing good about it.