(no subject)

[darkoshi]

It seems like there is a core of sadness inside me. I don't always feel it, but its potential is always there, ready to erupt at the slightest thought when I allow it. Its mere existence inside me keeps any experience from feeling truly great. Not just sadness; also jadedness, alienation, pointlessness.

I don't even know where it came from, or why. I think there was a time, in childhood, before it existed. I remember it being there as a teen, but I don't recall any single incident that could have caused it. Maybe it built up over time. But why, if the same thing did not happen to everyone else? Other adults seem to get enjoyment out of being alive.

Comments

[daddysambiguity.livejournal.com]

I have the exact same thing.