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Yonmei had linked to this post where someone wrote about the difficulty they had in getting emergency contraception pills after a condom broke while she and her partner were having sex. This, in spite of the EC pills ("Plan B") having recently been approved by the FDA for over-the-counter sales.
When I first read the post, it quite disturbed me to realize how difficult it is in some places, not only to get an abortion, but simply to get emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy in the first place. I decided that I should call up local pharmacies and find out which ones have EC in stock and are willing to dispense it, without a lot of hassle, to people who need it. Even though I've had my tubes occluded and therefore do not personally foresee a need to ever obtain EC, I want to support those places that do dispense it, by shopping there instead of at places that do not. I'm also going to start supporting Planned Parenthood by including them in the groups I donate money to.
The person who wrote the original post also later wrote about some of the positive and negative comments she had received... here and here. I'm glad that the supportive comments far outweighed the negative ones, but some points stuck out to me:
- A lot of people seem to think it is a simple and inexpensive matter for a woman to get a tubal ligation or for a man to get a vasectomy. Last year, I had my tubes occluded via Essure, a non-surgical (no incisions or cutting involved) alternative to lubal ligation. Even though I have health insurance, which paid for most of the costs, I still ended up having to pay over $2,000 out-of-pocket.
- It really bothers me when people use gender-specific slurs such as "whore", "slut", and "bitch". It bothers me first of all that they are using a gender-specific slur... as if someone deserves a certain insult simply for being a certain gender... and it bothers me even more that, for most of these slurs, there isn't even a corresponding term for someone of the other sex. "Jerk" or "asshole" could be considered male versions of "bitch", but they still don't have exactly the same connotations as "bitch" does. As for "whore" and "slut"...? I can't think of any male version of those slurs at all. It's always only females who are so denigrated for having sex.
- Reading some of the negative comments which say the person shouldn't have been having sex if they didn't want to have a baby... if those comments were directed at me, I would feel like saying "Fuck it all. I'm NOT going to have sex anymore." Because frankly, I don't really give a damn about sex. It seems like it's mainly guys who care so much about sex anyway. In fact, I'm still not sure that the guys who've been interested in me so far haven't really only been interested in me for sex. Now, I'm not condemning them for that... after all my own interest in finding a partner isn't completely unsexual... but I could live fine without actual penis-in-vagina sex.
- One commenter wrote: "You see we were all once a fetus. Is it beyond the realm of possibilities that when your mother first learned she was carrying you, she may have considered her options? What if she had decided to terminate? Would that have been OK?
You would not exist, if you have children they would not exist, and your (husband or wife) would be married to someone else. You would have been deprived of all your experiences and memories. "
Am I so unusual, in that the thought of my mother having aborted me before I was born does not bother me? So what, if she had had an abortion? So what, if I didn't exist? Is this life so wonderful, that it would be such a horrible thing, if I wasn't born to live it? Personally, my answer to that is No, I wouldn't mind not being alive. In fact, I might have prefered being aborted. But regardless of that, I also have a semi-religious belief that, if I was truly meant to exist and to live this life, that it wouldn't have mattered if my potential mother had had an abortion. I would have just been born at another time, or to someone else.
- This issue has even more relevance to me right now, because a couple weeks ago, while I was having sex, the condom came off. If I hadn't had my tubes occluded, I could potentially now be pregnant. Admittedly, I personally wouldn't have risked having sex even with a condom, without a backup form of birth-control, but still - BC methods do fail.
BTW, the type of condom I was using was this non-latex one (its website is here). I was curious about how different it would be from the latex ones I've tried, but I definitely DO NOT recommend this brand. Not only did it come off, but the lubricant on it has a nasty smell and taste which is not at all suitable for even oral sex.
When I first read the post, it quite disturbed me to realize how difficult it is in some places, not only to get an abortion, but simply to get emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy in the first place. I decided that I should call up local pharmacies and find out which ones have EC in stock and are willing to dispense it, without a lot of hassle, to people who need it. Even though I've had my tubes occluded and therefore do not personally foresee a need to ever obtain EC, I want to support those places that do dispense it, by shopping there instead of at places that do not. I'm also going to start supporting Planned Parenthood by including them in the groups I donate money to.
The person who wrote the original post also later wrote about some of the positive and negative comments she had received... here and here. I'm glad that the supportive comments far outweighed the negative ones, but some points stuck out to me:
- A lot of people seem to think it is a simple and inexpensive matter for a woman to get a tubal ligation or for a man to get a vasectomy. Last year, I had my tubes occluded via Essure, a non-surgical (no incisions or cutting involved) alternative to lubal ligation. Even though I have health insurance, which paid for most of the costs, I still ended up having to pay over $2,000 out-of-pocket.
- It really bothers me when people use gender-specific slurs such as "whore", "slut", and "bitch". It bothers me first of all that they are using a gender-specific slur... as if someone deserves a certain insult simply for being a certain gender... and it bothers me even more that, for most of these slurs, there isn't even a corresponding term for someone of the other sex. "Jerk" or "asshole" could be considered male versions of "bitch", but they still don't have exactly the same connotations as "bitch" does. As for "whore" and "slut"...? I can't think of any male version of those slurs at all. It's always only females who are so denigrated for having sex.
- Reading some of the negative comments which say the person shouldn't have been having sex if they didn't want to have a baby... if those comments were directed at me, I would feel like saying "Fuck it all. I'm NOT going to have sex anymore." Because frankly, I don't really give a damn about sex. It seems like it's mainly guys who care so much about sex anyway. In fact, I'm still not sure that the guys who've been interested in me so far haven't really only been interested in me for sex. Now, I'm not condemning them for that... after all my own interest in finding a partner isn't completely unsexual... but I could live fine without actual penis-in-vagina sex.
- One commenter wrote: "You see we were all once a fetus. Is it beyond the realm of possibilities that when your mother first learned she was carrying you, she may have considered her options? What if she had decided to terminate? Would that have been OK?
You would not exist, if you have children they would not exist, and your (husband or wife) would be married to someone else. You would have been deprived of all your experiences and memories. "
Am I so unusual, in that the thought of my mother having aborted me before I was born does not bother me? So what, if she had had an abortion? So what, if I didn't exist? Is this life so wonderful, that it would be such a horrible thing, if I wasn't born to live it? Personally, my answer to that is No, I wouldn't mind not being alive. In fact, I might have prefered being aborted. But regardless of that, I also have a semi-religious belief that, if I was truly meant to exist and to live this life, that it wouldn't have mattered if my potential mother had had an abortion. I would have just been born at another time, or to someone else.
- This issue has even more relevance to me right now, because a couple weeks ago, while I was having sex, the condom came off. If I hadn't had my tubes occluded, I could potentially now be pregnant. Admittedly, I personally wouldn't have risked having sex even with a condom, without a backup form of birth-control, but still - BC methods do fail.
BTW, the type of condom I was using was this non-latex one (its website is here). I was curious about how different it would be from the latex ones I've tried, but I definitely DO NOT recommend this brand. Not only did it come off, but the lubricant on it has a nasty smell and taste which is not at all suitable for even oral sex.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-25 09:06 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2006-09-25 11:49 am (UTC)From:Interesting
Date: 2006-09-27 04:51 am (UTC)From:I would like to know more about the follow-up on EC that you did with the local retailers and how they reacted to you..
On the gender specific slurs, I have to agree with the other responder...I do not find these words gender specific...but i do see your point as far as the article.
Thank you for sharing.
Re: Interesting
Date: 2006-09-27 11:55 am (UTC)From:I don't think I've ever heard 'bitch' or 'whore' used in regards to a non-transgendered and non-gay male. I less sure about 'slut', although "He's such a slut" still sounds unusual enough to me, that I must not have heard it much either.
Re: Interesting
Date: 2006-09-28 01:03 am (UTC)From:http://ec.princeton.edu/questions/what-fda-says.html
http://www.kaisernetwork.org/daily_reports/rep_index.cfm?DR_ID=39443
I think I may as well wait a while anyway before checking into which places will dispense EC. The articles say that even though Plan B was approved for OTC sales in August, it would take til at least the beginning of November, or maybe the end of the year, before the pharmacies would be likely to have it in stock. The 2nd article says that CVS and Walgreen are planning to sell EC without a prescription, so hopefully that means it won't be too difficult to get here.
And this is a previous post where I had researched a bit about obtaining EC before:
http://darkoshi.livejournal.com/40003.html