Social smiling

[darkoshi]

This Reddit thread has many interesting comments:
Can most Americans smile on command ?

There are different opinions as to how common smiling at strangers is in larger U.S. cities.
It seems to be quite uncommon in Eastern Europe.


Here's a small sampling of the other comments; these are by no means all of the interesting ones:

Mr_rairkim:
As an Estonian, I don't smile very often. Only in some exceptional circumstances. It's normal in Estonia that people are like that. Also people on family photos have much more neutral expressions.

btz312:
Smiling is like the American bowing. Don’t take it too seriously.
It keeps things easy going in a large multicultural + business culture country.

Zekapri:
Yeah, we also do it without realizing too. I didn’t know it was an American thing to smile at strangers until I travelled outside the states and it was pointed out. I’ve been to countries where it’s no where near common.

Dangerous-Sort-6238:
I moved to Brooklyn in my early 20s. The very lovely Russian shop keeper pulled my aside to let me know I “looked like a fool always smiling at everyone”.

Calan_adan:
Depends on where you go, though. Smiling at people is pretty common in a lot of sub-Saharan African countries.

DualcockDoblepollita:
its not an american thing. Plenty of countries out there where people smile often. We smile all the time in spain. I would even say that countries where people are serious all the time are the exception and not the rule

techno-wizardry
Is the dude nod an American thing too? Or is that more universal.

Longjumping_Youth281:
Smile at strangers? Is this like a southern or mid Western thing? I feel like that might come across as odd in some of the cities of New England and the Northeast.
I mean there's just too many people around to smile at. You would either have to be permanently smiling all day or choose specific strangers to smile at at which point they would think why is this dude singling me out and smiling at me?

Zekapri:
lol it’s not a head on smile. Think of almost an awkward smile. Like closed lip for a few seconds. We’re not fully perma smiling at people. Not every state might do it but it is a lot more common in America

Forking-shirtballs:
Yes. And especially in the Midwest it would be considered strange not to.

PunkCPA:
There are two types of smiles. The social smile, which is what you're likely to see with Americans, is a message to others. You may mean to say that you are well-disposed, or interested in what they say, or sorry for a small inconvenience, etc. It's quite flexible. It's also a cultural convention, not a universal behavior.
Don't confuse it with the Duchenne smile. It's also called "a smile that reaches the eyes." That's usually an involuntary reaction of pure delight and has even been observed in Estonia.

Jungletoast-9941
Yes it is a big part of the culture. As a Canadian ppl say we have a specific smile for when you are passing someone on the street. Usually a half smile. We do it to show we acknowledge the stranger and mean no harm. If you are interested, there are a lot of greetings that have been studied by sociologists. For example handshakes developed as a way to show you had no weapon.

wingedcoyote
Sorry, there's nothing at all wrong with the question and this is just my probably warped perspective as an American, but the idea of whole nations of people being so habitually dour that the idea of deliberately smiling seems foreign and confusing has me authentically chuckling.
I'd like to add that, at least IMO, when one deliberately smiles it usually isn't just a physical motion of the face -- it starts with refocusing your mental state on something positive in your situation, and letting that thought "steer" your face instead of whatever else you were thinking. Forcing a smile when you're actually fully unhappy would feel fake and has a much higher chance of looking fake. Also, while I think this ability is socially useful and can even be psychologically beneficial, the expectation of it is unfortunately a hardship for autistic folks who often find it much more difficult.

Mudbuda
I'm an English student currently studying in Tallinn, Estonia and I've really found this to be a big cultural difference! My host family hardly smile at me and at first it was off-putting, until I realised it's just the culture and it doesn't mean they dislike me.

RiverJai:
For what it's worth, I spent three weeks in Helsinki several years back. I definitely noticed how no one ever made eye contact or smiled out in public. No one greeted anyone else, and friendly small talk was right out. It was a very odd feeling walking around feeling invisible and totally disconnected from other humans like that. It was one of the most unexpected and stark culture shocks I experienced... Really didn't see it coming, and I honestly had a lot of trouble being around so many people showing no happiness or warmth, like a permanent fog of depression.
I learned that it was truly cultural, and no judgement on that. It was just the literal opposite of American social behaviors that I didn't realize were a lot less global.

rando439
Yes. In many situations not smiling = threatening. Smiling is meant to put the other person at ease. Any time eye contact is made, there is a good chance someone is going to feel insulted or threatened without smiles being exchanged. They don't even have to be real to the eyes smiles and, in fact, it's better if they don't in some cases.
Now, why everyone is needing to be reassured in the first place is another question I do not have the answer to.

SnooLentils3008
I actually read something about this. Back hundreds of years ago America was full of strangers from distant lands who didn’t speak the same languages. So they became extra expressive with smiling and such to show they meant well and weren’t a threat because it was the only way they could communicate it quickly.
So now to this day smiling is much more common in “nations of immigrants”. Here in Canada if you shake someone’s hand to meet them it might almost seem a bit hostile if they have a serious expression in their face (depending on context). “Resting bitch face” I’m sure is much more of a thing here than in a lot of other places. Usually at least a slight smile shows friendliness here

Comments

[mellowtigger]

I'm not a fan of it. I think I'm really good at verbal/auditory "smiling", which is extremely helpful in this service job over the phone. I do not, however, match it with visual clues, which other people find troubling and hard to read. I especially like the comments by PunkCPA and SnooLentils3008.

[darkoshi]

That concept of verbal smiling is interesting; I imagine it is related to how expressive and varied or non-monotone the voice is. I'm probably pretty bad at it.

I tried saying some things with a normal facial expression versus with a (forced) smile, and the former comes out more monotone for me than the latter, but I'm not sure the latter sounds friendlier.

With social smiling, I think I'm neither particularly bad nor good at it. (From my own point of view; don't know if others would agree.) I could write more on the topic, including some things that I didn't see mentioned in that thread. Maybe another time.

I thought the mention of "dude nod" was interesting, as I've noticed myself do that a few times when passing male strangers in the street.