Darkoshi

When I accidentally open the same video in 2 browser windows with a slight delay between them, it usually sounds weird. Sometimes it sounds really good.

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Part of that video I still want to post was a real example of me talking to myself while working from home. It amused me, listening to myself talking to myself.

Today I worked from home again, and talked to myself a lot again. I wonder why I do it out loud. Do I like to hear myself? Is it because the room sounds too quiet? Does it soothe me? Does it make me feel like I have a companion?

Often, I'll take on 2 personas while doing it. One, frustrated or discouraged about something, whiny, mopey. The other, practical, optimistic, offering solutions, giving me pep talks. "You can do it!" is something I say to myself a lotttttttttttt.

But a lot of the time, it's simply me verbalizing what I'm doing or what I'm about to do. There doesn't seem any reason to speak that out loud, yet I do it. I also verbalize things I'm feeling: "I'm hungry; I'm tired; my foot hurts; I'm cold enough now, time to turn off the A/C; etc."

When I'm at work in the office with other people around, do I have the same monologue, just inside my head instead of out loud? I'm not sure. I don't know if my thoughts, at least while working on computer stuff, even make it into words when I don't speak them out loud.

Right now, I'm not talking out loud. I'm only thinking these words in my head as I write them.

I'm impressed by the security of this particular bank's website, but it can also be infuriating.

The first time while trying to log in today, I got a page saying that my user id and/or password were not recognized, and to please try again (or go read the Help pages).

So I checked my notes for my password; I had indeed entered it wrong. I tried again, but got the same error message again.

So I checked my notes again, and discovered that I had been entering the wrong user id too. I logged in again, this time carefully typing the correct user id *and* the correct password.

But I got the same error message again. This is the infuriating part. After a certain number of failed login attempts, you are locked out without being given any indication of it. The website simply keeps showing you the message that you entered the wrong values and to "please try again". No matter how many times you then enter the right values, the same message is shown. The first time or 2 that I was locked out, I called the bank to straighten it out. The next time (after finally realizing what was going on), I decided to wait it out. I found that if I waited a day or two before trying to log back in, then I'd be able to succeed.

Previously, I thought that the lock-out happened after maybe 3 or 4 failed login attempts. But based on the above, today I was locked out after only 2 failed attempts. So it is not even a 3-strikes-and-you're-out policy, but 2! And it's not even per user id - they must be counting the attempts based on your IP number. Good lord. It's not unusual for me to have to type a password multiple times before getting it right, even when I'm remembering it right.

Based on their Help pages, they only disable your password after 3 failed attempts. You can reset it online after verifying your identity, but it says that then you need to change the password. I don't want to change my password - each time I change it, makes it more likely that I'll type it in wrong the next time!

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I could have sworn I had previously posted about my frustrations trying to login to this website, and that someone had replied to it. But I've failed to find any such post. I must have only considered posting about it, and instead mentioned it to Qiao, who provided sympathetic feedback. Is it common to think you've written a post about some topic, when instead you only discussed it with someone?

I've also noticed lately that when I feel like posting about something, but then happen to talk about it with Qiao (like above), that afterwards I feel less desire/need to write the post. Apparently talking about things sometimes gets them out of my system in the same way that writing a post would do, even though there's no recorded trace of the discussion afterwards.

I have yet never been able to bring myself to reply to "Hi how are you?" with just a "How are you?" as other people seem to do. It doesn't seem logical.

In limited settings, I may reply, "Fine, how are you?".

But most often, when someone I only vaguely know greets me that way in passing, I tend to reply "all right [smile]". There isn't usually time to get more words out of my mouth, or to even think of saying more. But I've been wondering lately if a reply like that sounds rude? Ie., someone asks how you are, but you only give an answer and don't reciprocate to ask how they are? Even though I know they aren't really asking to find out how you are; it's just a greeting. But is it rude or an ok reply?

Today I heard an exchange:
Person 1: "Hi, how are you doing?"
Person 2: "How are YOU doing?"
(neither person specifically answering the questions but going on to talk about other stuff.)

Maybe that is how people do it, without it sounding completely awkward. Are you supposed to emphasize different words depending on whether you greet the other person first versus replying to someone else's greeting?