darkoshi: (Default)
I wrote down one of my fantasies on paper some years ago. I didn't want to risk forgetting it. It seems somewhat amazing, re-reading what I wrote. It's written in ink, and there are very few places where I scratched anything out while writing it. Yet the quality seems better than some other heavily edited things I've written.

This is a snippet.

---

He does not seem amused anymore. Grim, serious, deadly. Lightning-quick maneuvers and volleys. I am being beaten. I am in pain all over. When will it end? I instinctively react to protect myself: dodge, block, counter... I cannot think any more, only react...

I begin to realize... T's unspoken message is, "How dare you disobey your Master? Your oath-sworn Master?! You are dust between my fingers! You cannot withstand me." In the moments when I am able to think or feel anything, I fear. I fear T. He could kill me right now. His anger is deadly, and he doesn't even seem to have broken a sweat. I realize what it would be like to have T as an opponent in a real all-out fight. Except that then, I would have already been dead a long time ago.

T is showering me with searing energy bolts again. I fall to the ground, crouching, trying to block. I am finished. I can hold out no longer. T comes closer and tells me to get up. I do not. My mind has retreated within me. T asks, "Do you give up?"

"Yes!" I whimper. Anything to make this stop.

"Will you obey me?" T returns. It takes me a moment to realize, to remember, the significance of the question. No, no, no, my mind replies. I won't. You can't make me. I say nothing.

---

Ah, I thought I had posted another snippet of the story before. And now I found it.

Ah! It makes me all tingly inside! Why can't I find any books to read like that?

Tee... not.

Sunday, August 31st, 2008 11:57 pm
darkoshi: (Default)
Ah, my old Tee story. And this was a version of a part which I had decided was quite wrong. But it's still rather cute.



*******NOT how Tee and Misha started off**********
Misha starts unbuttoning Tee's shirt
with that hand. Tee finally realizes that Misha has more than
casual contact in mind. Misha feels Tee's pulse quicken for a
moment and then return to steady cadence. Misha releases Tee's
hand and unbuttons his own shirt. He then brushes the sides of
Tee's open shirt apart and places his hands on Tee's chest.
He feels Tee's heart beating steadily and smiles.

Tee wonders if he should do anything or just stay still. Misha's
hands are very warm on his chest. What does Misha have in mind?
Well, he thinks, Misha is an expert at this, so maybe I should
just let him continue... Misha's hands are burning against his
chest now... Tee wants to move away from the heat but feels as if
he is held in place. He stares into Misha's eyes, confused.

Finally, Misha lowers his hands, trailing them down Tee's stomach
and then removing them completely. Tee breathes in deeply. Now
his chest feels cold from the sudden removal of heat. He crosses
his arms over his chest and frowns. This doesn't seem a typical
foreplay. What is Misha doing? Well, he decides, if Misha wants
to play with me, I may as well make it easier for him. He shrugs
out of his shirt, and removes his pants as well. Seeing this,
Misha smiles broadly in apparent amusement. After a moment, he
starts humming and removes his own clothing, setting them aside.

Tee begins to feel very uncomfortable. He wishes Misha would say
something instead of acting so enigmatically. He wants to break
the silence himself, but can't think of anything to say that wouldn't
seem out of place. Misha seems to notice his discomfort. He smiles
again and says, "Don't worry, Tee. I haven't really started yet.
I'm just trying to figure out..." He trails off into silence again
and doesn't complete his sentence. Tee frowns briefly in annoyance,
then hunches down, resting his head on his arms.

"Hmmm," Misha murmurs. "This just doesn't feel right. Come on,
Tee, let's go for a walk." Tee looks up in surprise. Go for a
walk, at night, naked? Oh well, who's going to be watching us
out here, anyway? He gets up and lets Misha take his hand.
Misha has grabbed 2 blankets for them to wrap themselves in.
Misha leads him out in a direction going further away from the
camp. They walk briskly for a while. When Tee looks back, he can
hardly see the campfires anymore. He realizes how far away they
are. If he were on his own, the Tribe would probably think he was
attempting to escape again. He stops walking, pulling on Misha's
hand. Misha stops as well and looks at him. "Far enough?" he asks.

"Yes, I think so," Tee says.

"Well..." Misha says and places his hands lightly around Tee's neck.
He pulls Tee forward and kisses him. Tee's heart beats and his
insides throb in reaction. Well, this was more like it! He reaches
his arms out to touch Misha, but Misha has already stepped away.
Misha walks behind Tee and places his hands on Tee's shoulders.
"Sit down, Tee," he says. Tee sinks down to the sand. Misha does
too, and massages Tee's neck and back. "I think I'm out of practice,"
Misha admits. "I just have to get warmed up." Tee laughs briefly.
Misha continues the massage until Tee relaxes to his touch.

*********end of NOT how Tee and Misha started off***********
darkoshi: (Default)
This one was partially inspired by Boy George; he fascinated me...
Goddess (mar 21, 1999)





(mar 1999)

you can sā


Love me
 Torture me
 Wrap your arms around me
 Don't give up
 Hate me
 As long as u care
Don't ever give up on me
  Be my friend
    Let me be your enemy
    Love me
     even when I hate myself

hold me tight when I could
     annihilate the world into a
              fiery fury nothing

Leave me alone
Kill me
Understand me
  I do
  Don't let go
        let me go
        sleep
             don't wake me
                   be a part of my dream

You are
You are who I am
Let me cry
Keep up with me when I walk to the edge of the world
 Please
    go away
      let me disappear
                 into the wind
 I am all that
 I am you
  I cannot leave
    You can only forget

Walk beside me thru the seven levels of hell
  Smile like a devil

You have my soul
  I have given it to you for safekeeping
  give it back someday
       when I am ready for it

  No.
  Let me die   let me go
   Come with me
   You are the only one I trust
   Destiny
   Forever
     til the end

(no subject)

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006 09:49 pm
darkoshi: (Default)
Is this story at all interesting to anyone else? It was something inside my head which I had written down a few years ago. But in reading it, it does seem to have an interesting quality, an interesting cadence, to it. Which perhaps might also appeal to others, or perhaps not.

initial snippet of story )

eh. Well. I'm sure it's a lot better within my head, than in anyone else's.

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