Darkoshi

When I'm in doubt about an issue, my tendency is not to want to change the status quo. But it seems that other people generally prefer to vote "Yes" than "No" on just about anything. All 7 SC constitutional amendments passed by pretty large margins.

Well, 22% of the people here voted against the anti-gay marriage amendment. That's about one in 4 or 5. That means only about 3 out of every 4 people would hate me if I fell in love with a female and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her in a loving caring relationship.

This morning, I was sitting in my room at my computer. Forestfen addressed me from the other side of the door, saying my name in a certain tone of voice... in a not overly loud tone, but slow and rising at the end, as if questioning and/or astonished by something. My gut reaction is negative - that she is about to accuse me of something, or nag at me about something. So I snap back at her, "WHAT?!!!"

But it was just that she had noticed that the power to the TV was on, and she was wondering if she had forgotten to turn it off last night (or had I happened to already turn it on this morning)? And since I had snapped at her, she then commented about me being in a bad mood already in the morning, when I should instead be bright and chirpy. And she asked if something had happened to make me feel bad? At which I am naturally annoyed, and snap back "NO!".

While this is happening, my mental reaction is that she shouldn't have used that tone of voice with me - that it is her fault that I snapped back at her. And that now she is nagging at me about being in a bad mood, when I'm not in a bad mood, and it is all her fault!

But it really isn't her fault how I react. It is my own doing. I should control my reactions. I should keep a pleasant tone of voice, and not get so easily upset when she talks to me. Even if she were accusing me of something or nagging at me, or saying something which seems totally ridiculous to me, or asking me about things I don't feel like talking about, I should still stay calm.

There are some things for which my mind tries to find answers for... I want to get to the heart of things and know the absolute, simple TRUTH of the matter. But like most of existence, there probably isn't any single simple truth to be found, no matter how many facts I may learn or how much time I spend thinking about it. How I feel about things varies from day to day. My reasons for doing things, my interpretations of past and current events, and my mood and emotions change from day to day. Something may seem to be true one day, but something very different may seem to be true the next day (or minute or hour). And those truths may be mutually incompatible, even though they are/were both valid in their own time. It's the same for other people too, I'm sure. Trying to find one overall Truth of a matter is therefore impossible. Some things are complex and cannot be made simple. Even if one tries to condense history and determine which truths were most prevalent, and base a simple answer upon those, is to deny the other incompatible truths/viewpoints, even though they are/were just as valid.