Darkoshi

Various thoughts/fears I've have lately about unwanted pregnancy and parenthood, based on things I've read. I am aware that some of my thoughts are less than ethical and totally unsympathetic to the child's plight.

I was reading one person's account of her children's medical problems.

- as if it isn't bad enough having a child when you didn't want one, there's a chance that the child will have medical problems which will make raising the child even more difficult!


One of her posts was about toilet training, and it was even more difficult because of the one child's medical/psychological problems.

- this account was totally gross. I would come to hate a child who got shit and urine all over the house, and whom I had to continually wash the excrement off of.


I read about a family having financial problems due to the medical costs of caring for their 3-month premature baby.

- as if it isn't bad enough having a child when you didn't want one, you could also end up hundreds of thousands of dollars (or more) in debt! I don't suppose the hospitals give you a choice of whether or not to care for the premature baby (if the child is likely to survive without severe disabilities, ethically I suppose the parents should not be given a choice)... but then they charge *you* for the costs.


Our state has a law that allows a parent to abandon a newborn baby at a hospital or certain other locations, without the parent being subject to criminal charges. But when this happens, the local news reports it as if it is such a shocking an unbelievable thing for the mother to have done.

Well, what else are you supposed to do with a baby you don't want to be stuck taking care of for the next 18 years? Having a baby is like getting a jail sentence! Is it shocking because if you don't want the child, you are supposed to give it up for adoption? How different is that from leaving it at a hospital? I don't get it. And what if the child is premature and has horrible medical problems - are you even allowed to give the child up for adoption then? What adoption agency would take a child like that? And even if you could find an agency to take it, or if you abandoned it at the hospital, would you still be liable for the child's medical charges?


Parents are supposed to love their children. Even the type of children shown on the Super-Nanny type of shows.

But what if you *don't* love the child? What if the child just seems like a snotty infernal nuisance to you? It's not fair to the child either, to grow up somewhere without loving parents. What if you have a baby, and decide to keep it, but a few years later you've come to hate the child, or you simply don't particularly like the child? You are only allowed to abandon newborns up to 30 days old at a hospital. What do you do with an older child? Are you allowed to give them up for adoption? What if you only keep the child because the child's father, who lives with you, wants to keep it? What if the father then leaves? Why does the father only get charged with providing child support, and why do you get stuck having to take care of the child? Why can the father abandon the child when it is older than 30 days, but you can't?


I still haven't found any recent studies done on the effectiveness of Essure. But from first-hand accounts, the following (supposedly rare, but who knows, without any current studies?) problems can occur:

- The doctor may mistake the location of the fallopian tube openings when doing the procedure to place the implants, and can end up puncturing the uterus with the coils... often, this isn't discovered until months later, with the doctors in the meantime telling you that the essure couldn't possibly be causing the pain you are having.

- Some people have a nickel sensitivity without realizing it, which can cause their body to react badly to the implants. Apparently, most doctors don't actually test for nickel sensitivity before doing the procedure. Mine didn't.

- The essure implants can come loose and be expelled through the vagina, or remain stuck in the uterus.

- The essure implants can be placed correctly, but end up puncturing the fallopian tubes.

- The essure implants can travel up the tubes and get expelled into the body cavity and can get snagged on other organs. This can cause pain and other problems. (I wonder if it could come in contact with a nerve and cause pain in one's leg? I wonder if this is what could have caused the sudden pain in my leg I started having last February, and which is no longer as intense, but which is still there).

- The coils can be expelled, even a year after the HSG test confirmed the tubes were blocked. (I wonder if having a heavy weight pushing on your pelvic area, such as during sex, could cause the coils to come loose even if they had initially been correctly scarred into place.)

I am a bit worried that my Essure implants have come out, or that something has changed with them. After getting the implants, my period changed noticeably almost from the start. No cramps, more regular, slower onset, less heavy but longer duration. It stayed that way for over 2 years. But for the last couple of months, my period has been more like it used to be, before the Essure. Although still not as bad; I haven't felt the need for Tylenol yet.

I tried finding out whether any more long-term studies have been done on Essure's effectiveness... all I can find are mention of the initial couple of studies that were done. But I did find a discussion board where several women had recently posted about various problems with their implants. I don't know if it is very uncommon to have problems, and it's just that those very few people with problems are very likely to post about them, or if the problems are more common than the initial studies suggested. Perhaps the company that makes the implants is even aware of the problems, but doesn't want them to be publicized, as then they would lose business.

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I also have other physical things bothering me. My back; the chiropractor wasn't able to get it to crack, and the massage didn't seem to help much either. My neck; I think the chiropractor helped somewhat with the stiffness, but it still doesn't feel quite right. And most of all, my right thigh. For almost 2 months now, I have not been able to cross my leg like normal. Every workday at lunch, I would go outside and cross my legs in a certain way while eating lunch, and then suddenly one day I could no longer do it. My leg hurts and complains. It's even gotten to the point where I sit differently from the outset without even thinking about it at first... I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose my flexibility and just... stop moving, as if that's just the way things are. I don't know what to do. Should I go to a doctor? What kind of doctor? Should I wait till it's been at least 3 months? But don't even broken bones heal in just 6 weeks; why would it take 3 months for a painful/strained/sprained/whatever to heal?

I felt like crying at work this afternoon. It was all too much. All 4 of our areas had problems. The single sign-on server was down. The SQL server had been brought down (to see who would scream / to find out who was using it). The one server wasn't responding, and I only had the IP #, which was dynamic, so I couldn't even figure out which server name it was, in order to try to connect to it. The other server started having a weird problem where you could log in, but then couldn't navigate to any other pages. It just kept clocking and clocking and didn't even return a time-out error. It was awful. Maybe it was a nightmare. And of course, there was all this other work that I had actually planned to do that afternoon, but didn't get around to doing.

The Essure procedure went well, so now I just have to wait 3 months for the scar tissue to form and block off the tubes.

My brother and his girlfriend arrived yesterday... I was very amused to discover that, although my brother and I haven't seen any pictures of each other in quite a while, we've got very nearly the same hairstyle... very short all over except for a portion on the top-back of the head where it's left long for a ponytail.